Have you ever been so moved by a piece of music that you cry? I have. I do.

For days, I have felt pulled to listen to Max Richter’s, On the Nature of Light. Are you familiar with it? It’s easily my favorite contemporary classical piece of music. I love all of his works in general. Too busy to tune in during the week, as I wanted to give it my full attention, I found the quiet of this morning the perfect time. I sat with my headphones on, hands crossed at heart level, and let the music wash over me as it held space. Tears released in immense gratitude. Release, recognition, communion. I felt so many different emotions simultaneously. In my journal I made a list: ecstasy, sorrow, despair, sadness, transcendence, love, intimacy, desire, longing, yearning, hope, sublime, magick, forgiveness, tenderness, tolerance, caress, breath, movement, darkness, light, breathlessness, expression, expansion, transformation, warmth, belief, faith, embrace, connection, self-love, heart, grief, loss, glimmer, truth…And yet words are truly insufficient to capture this kind of magick. I had the piece on repeat as I flowed through my morning tarot reading. The first card I pulled was Art (Temperance in RWS) – yes – Making anything you do a work of Art; friendship between mind & heart; rest & activity; light & dark; self & others; taking a creative or aesthetic approach, viewing the situation with an artistic eye.

Music saves me again and again. My first love and likely my last! I remember at college, playing for hours in a small practice room, eyes closed. Just me and Beethoven or Chopin, or Mozart…perfection. No fear. No judgment. No pressure to please an audience or to play perfectly. Connection to the keyboard, sound, frequency, vibration. It was perfection in and of itself. And in today’s heavy, heavy world, music is the only perfection, my safest connection. I do not need the presence of another in this magickal world.

I stumbled upon a new artist; well, an artist new to me, Yannic Lowack. The piece featured below is, Leuer, another that brings me to tears. He posted a snippet of an orchestral version, no piano, on his Instagram, and you can find his works on YouTube and IG. Music, where would I be without it?

Tarot, Max Richter, Yannick Lowack remind me that I am music and music is me. The piano calls to me, calling me back to who I was, who I want to be again. First, a musician and lover of the expressive arts. I’ve been away far too long.

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