Tag Archives: Creativity

shades of gray

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shades of gray
this month of May
when all things are blooming,
sweet buds perfuming
surrounded by shadows and despair
is there something toxic in the air?
pressure to please
like a weighted vest,
faces that bleed,
where is my best?
beyond my reach
dear soul i do beseech
a moment of rest
to find the brightest
star in the sky
to remind me that
there is light
may dawn restore
and once again ignite
starry dreams to be yet cast
a life in full bloom at long last

Photo by Unsplash in collaboration with Allec Gomes

waning gibbous

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Good afternoon or evening wherever you may be. We’re heading into a new month very soon. I have some wishes for May that I hope come to pass. We shall see.

I’ve been struggling with hyper-fatigue for the past couple of months. It’s worsened and become more difficult in the last month to do anything other than make it in to work and back home. I boxed yesterday and felt really tired afterward. Usually, boxing energizes me, but yesterday, I needed to take several little breaks during class. I have very stiff, sore muscles today, as it’s been nearly 3 weeks since I last boxed due to fatigue. Stretching is in order, but there is a part of me that wants to do more strenuous exercise, like boxing. I miss it. The weekends are just not long enough for restoration, and most days, I wish I could just stay in bed and do nothing. As such, I haven’t been writing as much as I’d like to. Just no energy to think or for creativity. I’m hoping that by Fall, my schedule has changed so that I’ll have more time away from work, particularly summer, winter, and spring recesses. At times, I feel angry that work takes the better part of my day and energy, and yet one has to make a living. So, I do my best at self-care, although I eat way too much ice cream, lol.

We’re also in the first phase after a Full Moon, the Waning Gibbous phase. The moon’s energy is decreasing, and it’s a good time to focus inward. The waning period is associated with letting go of that which does not serve you, e.g., self-limiting beliefs or fears that are holding you back, changing one’s schedule! There will be a New Moon on May 8th. I love New Moons and like to set new intentions in the hopes that with focus, time, and energy, my intentions have come to fruition by the time the Full Moon arrives, or are at least heading in that direction. I journal my intentions to help me commit and map out necessary steps toward achieving them. A Full Moon arrives every 29.5 days roughly. Our next Full Moon is on May 23rd, and it’s known as the Flower Moon – it coincides with the blooming of many flowers in the northern hemisphere. But first things first – focusing inward and letting go of things that no longer serve. Can you tell that I love talking about the moon? There are some things I’m working on letting go of in order to conserve my energy. Unfortunately, socializing is one of them. So less time with groups of people. Solitude is restorative – another reason I avoided the gym, or perhaps an excuse not to go???

Wherever you are in the world, I’m wishing you a very good and healthful week. Thanks again for following/subscribing to my blog. May you look inward and let go of that which no longer serves 🙂 🌖 🌕 🌔

Photo by Guillermo Ferla on Unsplash

toward hope

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hit the snooze at half past six
another insane morning
early to bed by nine o’clock
god, i’m so boring
eyes are bleary, body weary
can’t get outta bed
blast some heavy metal,
but still feel like a ton of lead
slingin’ mud,
wade through the muck
movin’ in slow motion,
you’d think i’d have a rhythm down
instead of this commotion
yet, drowning never felt so brutish
am i at my edge?
or being far too shallow
to which shall i allege?
i say gather up my strength
defy this bullet to my head
look to my sweet angels above
toward hope may i be led

More by The Warning. Thanks Fox Reviews Rock for introducing me to this great band, a Mexican-born sister trio, and their new album! I dig girl bands, and metal, too ❤ Will be jamming to more of their music. 

Do you ever try singing your poetry? I changed the poem around a bit after singing it so it sounded more metrical or rhythmic. It goes really well with the beat of this song, LOL.

Photo by Aryan Dhiman on Unsplash

web of magick

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had me wrapped around your little finger

couldn’t help but wanna linger

upon each encounter that we shared

blind to how little you cared

hypnotized by all your charms

despite my gut sounding loudly the alarm

i can see now that you played me

deception hidden oh so masterfully

none the wiser was i

ignoring your mindless alibi

it’s now my turn to quickly vanish

those memories of you

have quite been banished

and now i laugh at the days to come

web of magick has been spun

Wrapped Around Your Finger, Rufus Wainwright with Sting. A classic, right? I love this cover, a gem. Rufus never sounded better, and so cool that Sing was on bass and background vocals. Lyrics here.

Photo by Robert Anasch on Unsplash

under the moon

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light the candles one by one

flickering in dark,

like some ghostly phantom 

cast the spell with chalcedony,

a magickal uncrossing

with leaf of agrimony

wicked splendor under the moon

we’ll sing with the wolves

in the sultry heat of June

i swear to you that i’ll be true

by the sanguine stars and hypnotic lune

let the spell that’s cast never be broken,

for magick abounds, wishes unspoken 

enchanted by the roots of Mother Nature

may Divine Love ever be in our favor

Moonlit and Devious by Allie Crow Buckley. This is just a very cool song. Can’t stop listening to it. Lyrics here.

Photo by Adrian Regeci on Unsplash

jump the highest bridge

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my dear,

i would not love you any less

if your life turned out a giant mess

i would take you in my arms

and cover you in kisses,

let the rain pour down

for you, i’ll go the distance

to make you smile for miles and miles,

jump the highest bridge

for you, dear, i am fearless,

and all your doubts are meaningless,

may they float away on the nearest cloud,

for surely you can do without

the vexing chatter in your head

may they be drowned out by the sweet whisper

of promise and my hand upon your heart,

to always protect, to always guard

two imperfect humans on this journey are we,

finding our way through life’s little miseries

striving to be light, fighting to be free

one thing is true and will forever be,

you, my dear, have always

an undying love in me

This poem was inspired by a song, Keep Breathing, by Ingrid Michaelson. I haven’t stopped listening to it since MyGenXerLife posted an article featuring the song. There’s something about the contour of the melody, the lyricism, that catches my breath.

Photo by Sean Pierce on Unsplash

a fireside lullaby

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sing to me a lullaby

of peace and joy and loves gone by

take my hand and let’s get high

on fragrant blooms, the midnight sky

dance with the wind to our hearts content

at home with the redwoods, my dearest friends

nature beckons promising solace

for she is divine and perfectly flawless

want to be like the angels as i journey forth

seeking truth, giving love,

wings to fly evermore North

The Rising, Essie Jain. A beautiful, poetic piece. 

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

grace, a beat and a song

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thought i saw you
on the metro this morning
flooded by flashbacks
that came without warning

felt your hand
on the small of my back
as though someone hit replay
on that old, weary soundtrack

for a moment in time
wearing rose colored glasses
now nothing left between us
except dust and ashes

i miss you, it’s true
can’t stand to say it
took a piece of my heart,
love, it’s so overrated

starting to question,
does it even exist,
or is it merely
some ill-gotten, fragmented myth?

i shall raise a glass
to solace in solitude
let me bathe in the sun,
the earth, stars, and moon

for that is where i find
my heart rightly belongs
abounding in grace,
a beat and a song

Not Strong Enough, boygenius. Lyrics here. It’s threatening rain in LA. Just waiting for the downpour any minute. Good morning to write about shitty feelings. I revised this poem so many times. Words have a mind and will of their own.

Photo by Eugene Chystiakov on Unsplash

down a crooked path i went

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when i think of time gone by,
all the things i’ve missed
hopes and dreams
and visions,
the love that i so wished
would somehow save me from myself,
take away the ache
yet down a crooked path i went,
at times I thought i’d break
should have listened to my gut
oh so young and trusting
learned the hard way, cut by cut
that i’d be left with nothing
sold my soul to lies, got lost
still, in the end was found
my soul emerged, sought the light
turns out light would win
and here am i on a new path
paved with life’s experiences
though not what i set out for,
it’s made all the difference

It’s All Happening Now, BAERD. Full lyrics here. Life really is all happening now, around me everywhere. So many changes in the past several months. I’m not sure when I’ll land…

Photo by Levi Bare on Unsplash

total eclipse of the sun

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the moon decided to eclipse today
the fair sun along its merry way
between the earth and brightest star
a path predestined from afar
a phenomenal sight to behold
another not to occur for years, I’m told
though not on the path of totality
awed nonetheless by our Celestial Galaxy
a time to awaken, heal and expand
set your intentions, expect the grand
life is too short, we have only today
live with intention, live to play
for work is a necessity, will always be there
but a life well lived, truly one cannot spare

All right, so this is not the best poem, but i felt moved to honor the solar eclipse today. And, I wrote it during my lunch break, lol. I went for a walk at 11:11am, the peak of the eclipse in my area, and there was a couple sitting on the curb, trying to catch a glimpse of the eclipse with a metal strainer. They were talking with a stranger, who just so happened to have eclipse glasses. He let each of us borrow them. I saw the eclipse, and it was the coolest thing ever! I’ve never seen any eclipse in real time, and this will probably be the only solar eclipse I see in my lifetime, as the next one won’t occur until 2044 or 2045. So it was really special! Cheers! I hope you were able to enjoy the solar eclipse.

Photo by Unsplash in collaboration with Alex Shuper

lay down your armour

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what i wouldn’t give
for a moment with you again
go back in time,
to a time back when
life was nothing more than innocence
long before i learned to abandon penitence
blowing dandelions in a single breath
watching clouds drift by as the sun set
wanted nothing more than
to chase butterflies
through roaming fields of clover
under baby blue skies
i would tell you i love you just as you are
let your light shine like the North Star
lay down your armour,
for the battle you’ve won
there is nothing more for you to overcome
you feel now like your light is dimming,
a longing fulfilled seems endlessly missing
look to your soul, it yet knows its purpose
from there light and love
will most assuredly surface

A love note to my inner child. 

Photo by Victoria Medvedeva on Unsplash

forever shimmering

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may my heart always be open
no matter how broken
sail through to the light
on the other side
may i be like the tides
take each challenge in stride
ebb and flow to the beat of my own drum
when i feel like i’m failing
bad decisions i’m making
may i be determined to fight, not flee
despite feeling cheated
occasionally defeated
there’s a fire inside,
a courage that guides
when hope seems to have disappeared
may i be like the ocean
though perpetually in motion
forever shimmering reflectively

Photo by Rafael Garcin on Unsplash

till the last light fades

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from sea to sea
and across the miles
i’d follow you anywhere,
stardust in my eyes

across a lavender painted sky
to the farthest horizon
casting magic amid the stars,
follow our hearts to Orion

take me with you
on your gallant galaxy quest
follow you to the moon
of this i’ve surely dreamt

till the last light fades away
and we ride this hallowed earth
follow you always, my love
across the universe

Bewitched, by Laufey. This is one talented young woman…dreamy song and vocals 🙂 

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

more than a flicker

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you and i are

more than a moment,

more than a flicker

in a world getting sicker and sicker

when one wonders if anyone cares

and life seems shitty, unfair

you, darling, are one in a million

in a sky filled with a billion

wicked stars in the sky

perpetually evolving, you and i

reaching high for our zenith,

a connection shared between us

on me you can always rely,

a trustful ally

holding up a light

when no longer you can fight

the hurt you hide inside

fall into me,

can i help you see that you are

more than just a moment,

more than just a flicker

i see in you all that glitters

Inspired by Linkin Park’s One More Light. Full lyrics here. After reading Fox Reviews Rock post on Friendly Fire, another song I love, I spent the day listening to Linkin Park. I’ve loved this band for a long time. It made me think, are we all not looking to be seen in this big, bad world? So, I wish for you the following:

May you feel seen and heard. May you be peaceful and happy. And may you be safe and free.

Photo by Muhammad Ali on Unsplash

at my edge

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beyond the edge
of human emotion
time stands still,
like magic in moments frozen
lost in such luminosity
consumed by an insatiable curiosity
and wanting more
body, mind, soul and spirit
held in most brilliant of light
angels sing over me in quiet delight
whispering a chorus in my ear
you need not fear, all is well
forever and gladly under your spell
i get lost, leave behind this world
when life’s fury lets loose and unfurls
confusion, the illusion that 
i’m falling, falling and overwhelmed
I am held up by you,
and in your arms i breathe
knowing i am always seen
for where you are, nothing ever fails
the veil is lifted
breathe into me
for then i am surely free

Music will always be my first love ❤ It is the great unifier when we cannot come together around anything else. I have listened to this song a million and one times. It never grows old and is one of my all-time favorites. And Lindsey Buckingham is hot, LOL.

Photo by Julia Kadel on Unsplash

let them live

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untamed and free,
thousands living in the wild
hoofbeats resounding mile after mile
a thunderous rhythm
across wilderness and plains,
wind weaving through
fierce mane and tail
you only want what you deserve
to live freely, unharmed
among your sacred herd
yet threatened by inhumanity
savage humans cause you suffering,
mercilessly separated from your families
immoral men bring upon you calamity
where’s the compassion, justice
and humanity?
save the wild mustangs,
let them live
such brutality,
i cannot forgive

Last year, 20,370 American horses were shipped out of the country to be slaughtered. Most sent to slaughter are in good condition, according to a USDA study. They include an unknown number of mustangs that once roamed freely across our public lands. These horses endure terror, trauma, and pain in crowded trailers without food, water or rest. This will continue day after day, until Congress finally stops it. Urge Congress to support the SAFE Act to end horse slaughter – Return to Freedom Wild Horse Conservation

Take Action for Wild and Domestic Horses and Burros

Wild horses, mustangs, and burros suffer year after year because the Bureau of Land Management wants to control their population in the most brutal way. These animals are chased by helicopter for miles, separated from their families, rounded up and then sent on to be slaughtered. Horses, like humans, build strong familial bonds/friendships within their herds. Some are rescued at auctions by organizations like Return to Freedom, and Skydog Sanctuary; others are not so fortunate. Please urge your Congresspeople to support the SAFE Act.

Photo by Michael Anfang on Unsplash

anthem of the trees

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Mother Earth, you are not yet lost
your rivers, oceans, mountains, and trees
raise their voice in desperate plea
a call to all beings,
an anthem of freedom
that cannot be ignored
feel the pulse of the land
steady now as ever before
listen, listen to its command
to all peoples everywhere
bear witness to the hand
of careless humans
who’ve lost the way,
blinded by a lust for gain
what will they say when all is lost,
beauty, purity carelessly tossed?
we weep oceans in grief
our souls in grave disbelief
can’t you hear the trees sing?
songs of peace they mightily ring,
they will not be enslaved to those depraved
life is sacred,
we are connected,
raise the collective must we

Cantus Iteratus by Karl Jenkins from Adiemus-Songs of Sanctuary. Cantus iteratus in Latin means “repeated song.” I’m living in this album. If you read my last post, I’ve been lost in this music lately. It’s truly breathtaking. Thank you, Karl Jenkins, for this masterpiece. I was drawn to the steady pulse of the percussion and lower strings and the beautiful chorus of female voices in this piece. I thought it truly conveyed the spirit of the poem. It sounds like an anthem, march-like and jubilant, and it steadily grows and grows until the end when the music softly trails away, much like the beginning. So clever and enlightened, I think. Our earth is being destroyed, and it deeply saddens me. I wanted that to be present in the poem, but also hope that we can make changes collectively. I think the music brings that to life. The piece reminds me a little of Treebeard and the Ents in Lord of the Rings. I hope you give it a listen as you read this poem. I wrote it at work yesterday during breaks, lol! Oh, and full lyrics to the piece are here.

Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash

the stars sigh

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there is a certain kind of peace i get
when i look up at the night sky
the stars sigh, yet never lie
on them i can depend
that though this world may fall apart
when feeling low, down in heart
their wonder and their mystery
keep me stirred and wistfully
i dream of things i wish to be
a restoration of humanity,
an end to the insanity
all beings are at peace
when I gaze upon a starry night
it feels like possibility
i rest and introspectively delight

Karl Jenkins: Palladio – 1. Allegretto. If you’re into strings, you’ll love this piece ❤ It’s beautiful. I don’t know why, but I think it has a fierceness to it that I love. 

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

player

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if i told you my name
would it change
how you play the game
would you say i’m to blame
for being certifiably insane?
follow me downtown into the dark
shadows dancing,
pink lights entrancing
going out on a lark
down the avenue of right or wrong
pick your poison
give battle or belong
take the path of least resistance
when lights go dim,
you’ve been outdistanced
down the curious rabbit hole
hold onto yourself,
stay in control
down on your knees,
trying to please
are you brave enough
to break free?
go ahead, call me crazy
i’ll remain nameless
sensible, sane, hard, and blameless
end to end,
don’t wanna be judged
only enlightened
way done being frightened
hey i’m a player, too

In the spirit of The Hand That Feeds, by NIN. 

Photo by Victor Rodriguez on Unsplash

gambit

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ruby red nails

and silver lipstick

she wears her platform heels

three inches high just for kicks

with each sway of her hips

studded chains round her wrists

you wonder what she’s made of

when push comes to shove

she holds her head high

when others walk by

feeling their stares and wandering eyes

she just tosses her head

and with a swoosh of her blue hair

smiles amusingly and meets every stare

knowing all that matters

is her own kind of sexy

the kind that’s humble

and when things get messy

she wears kindness

like her black leather jacket

her very best defense,

favorite gambit

Photo by pawel szvmanski on Unsplash

sail away

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this morning you greeted me with a kiss

twelve o’clock noon

and i reminisce

my faded t-shirt still smells of you

i’m hopeless, a romantic

don’t mean to be pedantic,

but i know every curve of your gorgeous face

this afternoon we sailed Marina Del Rey

though the skies began threatening gray

not a worry or care,

your hand brushed back my hair

as the wind whipped through the sails

this evening we strolled under a strawberry moon

warm seabreezes, jasmine’s sugared bloom

you said, “let’s swim,” with a playful grin

and into the waves we dove

Photo by Bobby Stevenson on Unsplash

foolish roulette

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here am i

a breath and a sigh

away from you

you and i were going places

feeling safe, like homeostasis

then you left without a word

no promises did we make

yet to be erased,

left to wonder, was i replaced?

such a silly thing

to fall so hard for you

ignored the signs, this is what you do

lesson learned, no regrets

i’ll behave, still left to guess

you’ve moved on

lest i forget

get tangled up in love, a foolish roulette

Foo Fighters, “Stranger Things Have Happened”


Photo by Lenstravelier on Unsplash

velvet daydream

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tell me more about you

got me so curious

dressed head to toe in black

said your moon’s in aquarius

where do you come from,

where are you now?

stay a little while

let’s go another round

you’re not just anyone

you gotta past

life seemed to happen

too hard, too fast

let me be a shelter,

be your shooting star

fall apart on me

I’ll meet you where you are

you smile at me

and i see moonbeams

meet me at the corner

of this velvet daydream

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

ain’t no way

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left on an early weekend morn
despite the pity
and the scorn
the sun shone brightly
belied tears cried nightly
because of you
left a houseful of memories,
my dog, baby grand
no one could stop me,
what I had planned
weeks, months in the dark
alone in the crazy,
had i missed the mark?
running and faded
beyond jaded
part of me died
lucky i survived
free me, i will take my stand
free me, this i demand
to walk away, i knew i’d pay
for my sanity
embraced the gravity
to be free
no way in hell
can you stop me
free me, i will take my stand
free me, this i demand
beginning to end
on this i depend
that i will be free
ain’t no way
can you take it away 

“Free Me” by Foo Fighters. This song has been on repeat. I’ve been listening to their earlier stuff as well as their latest album. It takes time to live in each song, learn the lyrics, and feel the vibe. This is one of those songs that so clearly resonates. I’ve worked hard to earn free.

Photo by Gary Meulemans on Unsplash

let the music play on

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let the music play on
for therein is real magic
sweet melody,
like the air i breathe
life fades away
angels and devils at play
songs that save my soul
this brokenness indeed made whole
forever young, forever free
give me the beat of a drum
and i’ll soar for eternity

This song by the Foo Fighters, “Rest,” is like a lullaby of sorts. Although I’m not sure of the meaning, I feel that it’s a tribute to Foo Fighters’ beloved drummer, Taylor Hawkins, who died in 2022. I was so saddened by the news of his death believed to have been caused by a drug overdose and an enlarged heart, as I’m a huge Taylor Hawkins fan. There are some great rock n’ roll drummers, including Dave Grohl, but there is something about Hawkins that I loved. The way to my heart will always be through music ♡ Wish that I had more experience drumming!

Feature Photo Taylor Hawkins performing in 2018 CC BY 2.0. Credit: Raph PH

wade into you

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lost inside my head
too soon to forget
you’ve got me aching
helplessly craving
your lips on mine
like sweet, sweet summertime
riding the surf with you
what is it you do
that gets me so high?
can’t deny
the madness between us
you’re my latest weakness
but i don’t mind
cuz you make me feel so, so fine
wade into you every time

Would like to set this to music, a song?

Foo Fighters, “Show Me How,” featuring his daughter, Violet, on vocals. I love the vibe of this song. I get inspired by music to write..

Feature Photo by Unsplash in coordination with Natalia Blauth

hey, thanks

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I hope you’re enjoying a restful, restorative weekend! I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you for visiting and taking time to read my poems, posts, etc. It truly means the world. It’s laughable, I never thought I’d ever write poetry. Okay, so it’s not great poetry, but the process is incredibly rewarding and even more so, healing.

I have loved writing since the time I could hold a pencil. Yes, I was that geek in school with the straight bangs and glasses who loved, yes loved, practicing cursive. The act of forming each letter was like art.

I started this blog in 2010 primarily upon the encouragement of a group of individuals I knew in high school, and a teacher who was very well liked by the students, Carole Ann Kaplan. We all created WordPress blogs and began posting stuff. Since then, so many other platforms to write and subscribe to have popped up. My posts began as a journey to find my birthfamily in Taiwan. I wrote a memoir about that journey. Things have changed tremendously since then, and the book would be much, much different now…I don’t write about adoption very often anymore, but elements of grief and loss, attachment, rejection, okay, yes, unrequited love, and longing that I’ve experienced as a result of adoption, I’m sure, influence my prose.

So, thank you, dear readers for following this blog, reading my silly poems, and sharing space with me. It’s really nice to read your posts as well, and I”m grateful for the support. Happy writing, and may you have a lovely rest of your day.

Photo by Wilhelm Gunkel on Unsplash

Enjoy this beautiful tune! A friend recently introduced me to Father John Misty, though he’s been around for awhile. I’ve had this song on repeat 🙂