Category Archives: Poetry

Lop-sided

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How I hate disappointing you.
The silence that follows.
It screams, “you failed,”
and that primeval hammer
in my nervous system
sounds the alarm.
My younger self, her face
red and burning,
insides churning;
her hands balled up
in tight little fists.
She silently rages
and turns her pain inward.
I am not fooled by
your sugar-coated words,
your pious efforts that appear
like some kind of holiness;
they just as quickly
become poisonous quills.
I am letting go,
for in letting go I am free –
Oh that my freedom
had not come at
such a high cost!
It is a double-edged sword,
a fine balance
between power and sacrifice,
relief and sorrow,
feeling everything
and nothing at all,
often at the same time.
I weep for all the things lost,
yet all the things gained.
My heart is lop-sided.
And lop-sided shall it be
till better days arrive.
I will survive.
For a lop-sided heart
is better than an
imprisoned one.
Let me rejoice in
having a heart at all.

Photo by Felix Rottmann on Unsplash

For Best

5 Replies

What to do when the answer is unclear,
when unable to obtain the clarity you seek
knowing that the wrong decision could
wreak havoc, make life rather bleak.
Oh, the anxiety that spins me round and round
makes me weak, and I cannot ground!
It feels like a terrible pounding in my head.
I cannot catch my breath! It is caught between
my ribs in spasms of fear and uncertainty.
Alone, I must go forward, for there is no
right or wrong, only what is, what might be.
No one to to tell me what is best.
May the clouds lift and the sun promise
a day without panic. Be patient, my dear,
try not to fret, for the answer is near,
though it may not be what you want,
it is for best.

Home

8 Replies

Under a rosy morning sun
I walk the path of memories,
yearning to recover what has
been lost across lifetimes.
You must sense it too, that we have
known each other a very long time,
centuries, millennia, who is to know,
except perhaps our souls?
An achy, distant loss buried deep within
my marrow; yet, there is a knowingness
when I am with you that not even the
absence of memory can repress.
You walk beside me and know all of
my shadows, illuminating the dark
corners of my heart and mind.
With you I am home.
Across dimensions, light years,
the expansion of time; wherever you are,
I am at home.
May it always be true now and for evermore.

Drømmefanger by Kalandra. Drømmefanger translated means “dreamcatcher.”

Photo by Jr Korpa on Unsplash

shine

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in the quiet of the morning,
my heart open wide
the wind softly whispers
let go, let go my child
yesterday was heavy
a heart full of sorrow,
your troubles, far too many
for any one human to hold
follow the light of the sun
for it will always rise
bask in its warmth and promise
that tomorrow you will shine

The Sun is the source of all life on Earth. It represents optimism and abundance. It radiates with warmth and vitality. The Sun also represents creativity. Sunflowers, one of my favorite flowers, represent happiness, loyalty, and longevity. Young sunflowers move to face the sun, thus the name, “sunflower.” Perhaps, that’s why I’m drawn to them 🙂

Photo by Ryan Tasto on Unsplash

shadow of you

12 Replies

out of this body,
out of this mind
running frantically in place
as though running out of time
in my dreams i search for you
amid a forest thick with mist,
but you are not to be found,
and there i remain alone and adrift
when suddenly you appear
under a half-lit crescent moon,
time seems to stand still, illuminated
yet you disappear far too soon
i reach blindly for your shadow
to it shall i cling,
but your shadow slowly fades
no solace does it bring

Endings, live performance by East Forest

Photo by Sven Brandsma on Unsplash

fireproof

3 Replies

thinking blue

under the last quarter moon

lazy summer afternoons,

beachy vibes and thrills in june

the fire behind your eyes,

like golden ember

earth that binds

it’s the spark i’ll remember,

my muse

two wayfaring souls drawn together

boundless are we

eternal,

Fireproof

Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine. Lyrics here.

Photo by Unsplash in collaboration with Spencer Backman

once again

7 Replies

look, look what you have done
just when i come up for air
and all in life seems fair
you silently choke the light
right out of me,
expect me to live a life that
is not mine
when you haven’t the first clue
the dark that threatens to undo,
nor can you care
for everything has a price tag,
my dreams have languished, lagged
i am spilled out
and for a moment i doubt,
but the waxing moon promises renewal
shall i aspire to the beautiful?
a gift, a life anew,
climb out of the doldrum
shake off what numbs
and start once again

Cheers to shitty poems. But the song is amazing. Echo of my Shadow by Aurora. 

Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash

tiny ache

3 Replies

what is this tiny ache swelling
beneath my heart?
a worry, sorrow, dismay?
please let it soon depart!
how restless are my days
wondering what is yet to come
blocks, delays, stagnation
oh hellfire and damnation!
where is this life of ease,
that others claim to live?
perhaps it is all illusion,
a grandiose delusion
if i could trust myself enough
to allay all my fears,
to trust the lot that has been cast,
the ache would disappear

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash

forever young

5 Replies

there’s this uncanny feeling i get
deep down in my gut
like we knew each other
in a past life
i’m most sure of it
my dear friend
who would have known
that after all this time,
we’d end up partners in crime?
hittin’ downtown
like we’re jewels in the crown
soakin’ up the sun
oh, let it be written
that we own the night
under gilded moonlight
you the mage, I the madness
a toast to us,
to all we’ve lost, yet become
may there be more days like this
living life to the fullest
you and i,
forever free, forever young

Photo by David Marcu on Unsplash

She

6 Replies

she looks to the sky
for some divination,
some explanation
for the way things are
why did the stars align
as they did on the day
she was born?
why was she vanquished
to a place where she languished
until it was decided she’d
grow up foreign?
daydreams and portals,
she was anything but normal
drawn to the celestial,
a bit of a rebel
a Starseed is she
when things get too troubling
on Earth, she is struggling
she remembers how silly
of her to forget
that she is
the love of her life
she will survive
she will yet thrive,
and that is all that she needs

For my fellow adoptees who know too well the hurts caused by adoption…

Berceuse in D-Flat, Op. 57, Frédéric Chopin. I love this piece so much and have always wanted to learn to play it. Chopin was always so difficult to play for lots of different reasons. I have small hands, and in Chopin’s piano literature, there are often large intervals that I had to get creative playing, not to mention the technical difficulty. I was an average pianist in my abilities compared to my peers and wasn’t super diligent with practice. I mean, 8 hours a day of practice was just not me. Four was about all I could mange. If super inspired, maybe six, lol. I learned one of Chopin’s Ballades (A-Flat) in my undergraduate piano studies. It was such a beautiful piece – I remember wishing that I could perform it better. I also recall another more technically advanced individual telling me it was Chopin’s easiest Ballade. I just wanted to say, fuck off. I truly hated the perfection required in classical training. Always riddled by performance anxiety. Probably why I despised performing and liked dancing and acting better – you could improvise if you messed up. I do admire pianists who achieve that level of performing. I think I’d be a different performer now, however.

Anyway, one of my professors performed the piece during a recital, and it was such a lovely performance. Was mesmerized. I like Gorlatch’s performance, as it’s at a tempo I prefer for this piece. He makes it look so easy! In fact, this piece is really difficult. So much is subjective within the limits of the period and style the piece was written in. It’s interesting to compare pianists’ interpretations. There is a performance I enjoy slightly more, Wibe Soerjadi, but couldn’t find on YouTube. I love alternative/indie/classic rock and other genres, but often go back to classical when I need to get more grounded.

This piece fit the poem above. Enjoy.

Photo by Rémi Jacquaint on Unsplash

dim

2 Replies

it is seven o’ five

feeling barely alive

the day is done

should be reveling in

the warmth of

summer sun,

and yet all i want to do

is crawl into bed

pull the covers over

my throbbing head

and shut the world out

i have no doubt

it will keep turning

whether i lie awake or sleep

safe at home i unmask,

despite shadows prowling,

feasting upon my past

words of love have grown dim

slumber now for tomorrow shall too soon begin

Photo by Jairo Alzate on Unsplash

burning alive

5 Replies

remember the first time
you brushed the hair back
from my eyes
it was one of those crazy hot days last July
sand covered our bronzed, bare feet
you leaned into me with kisses so sweet,
and i could barely breathe
we were burning alive

you were the blue,
always changing like the tide
born to love me with all the grace
of a blooming sunrise,
my morning star
we were burning alive

sun and sand,
wind through the palms
we were stuck together
like two birds of a feather
day and night,
i loved you for eternity
my evening song
we were burning alive

Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish. Her new album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, dropped yesterday! On repeat, particularly this song, which inspired this poem. Such a great album ❤ 

Photo by Storiès on Unsplash

no longer here

10 Replies

the murmur in my heart

decided to become a whisper,

and the whisper grew to be a wail

until the wail became a very loud moan

the moan reminds me that you are no longer here

the tourniquet has stopped the bleeding ’round my heart

yet has done nothing to remove the memories of you from my

pounding head, so i will write and write another day until

the very loud moan becomes a wail, and the wail

softens into a whisper, and the whisper decides

to become a murmur, then there will be

nothing but silence to remind me

that you are no longer here

Photo by Alec Douglas on Unsplash

let go of ego

10 Replies

this is where i find myself
struggling to embrace
all that is the human experience
i’d soon forget our race
dying to let go of ego,
vying for some balance
finding shelter incognito
in a kind and gentler space
remember who i am,
remember who i’m not
let go of shallow words and gestures
how tiresome are your arrogant thoughts
to live and breathe a life of love
of this i shall pursue
i have no time for human games
i long for a life, a love that’s true

I Hate Everything About You-Live Acoustic, Three Days Grace. An oldie but goodie…my “I don’t give a fuck meter” is at an all time high. Full song lyrics here.

Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

the raven

2 Replies

my dear friend, the raven,
has a certain kind of MAGICK
dressed in black from head to tail,
has a flair for the dramatic
such a sooty bird is he,
flying fast on graceful wingbeats
watch him dive across the sky
an aerial acrobat and artful spy
fills the blue with an echoing croak
he’s a brilliant trickster under cloak
see him vividly in my dreams,
casting charms as i sleep
bringing change and ancient wisdom
reminds me of all i am to become

a little creek

9 Replies

there’s a mossy little creek

where i like to sit and think

a shallow slope to mull and dream,

where glossy water babbles midstream

i skip barefoot ‘cross the river stones

earth and fire in my bones,

behold the current gently flow,

carrying my dreams safely home

Photo by Maddox Howe on Unsplash

howl at the moon

4 Replies

i hear Nature summoning
run wild through the trees,
taste my youth on the tip of my tongue
at home in this body and evening breeze

a midnight stroll through the green,
to exorcise the ache
howling fiercely at the moon
like some secret language

shadow of trees and cloak of leaves
a romance to ever flourish
as though turning the pages of this life,

and

the

windy

path

diverges

Photo by Unsplash in collaboration with Getty Images

bargaining

9 Replies

there’s a little piece of me that dies a little bit
every time i get on the freakin’ 710
my personal hell, running late yet again
mind you, i’m no weakling, ha
but life in the fast lane
makes my heart sink
and as the days grow longer
so do my siiigghhhs…
inhale, exhale like the rolling of the tide
aiming at where i truly wanna be
still so much life to live and see
freer yet than i’ve ever been
still, i’m bargaining for that absolute win
one life to live, i have nothing left to give
sing me a tune, let me savor some magick
to dispel this evil ill and all that feels so damn tragic

Across the Universe, covered by Fiona Apple. How I love Fiona Apple. I thought this song fit the poem, it’s tone, mood, and lyrics. The meaning of “jai guru deva” is literally “glory to the shining remover of darkness.” It reminds to bring into mind a higher consciousness, a connection to my soul, Nature, the earth, and to ground daily in order to get through the days of constantly giving so much of my energy. Sometimes helping is fucking exhausting. Full lyrics here.

Photo by Ciocan Ciprian on Unsplash

shades of gray

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shades of gray
this month of May
when all things are blooming,
sweet buds perfuming
surrounded by shadows and despair
is there something toxic in the air?
pressure to please
like a weighted vest,
faces that bleed,
where is my best?
beyond my reach
dear soul i do beseech
a moment of rest
to find the brightest
star in the sky
to remind me that
there is light
may dawn restore
and once again ignite
starry dreams to be yet cast
a life in full bloom at long last

Sirius, aka the Dog Star, or Sirius A, is the brightest star in our night sky. It means “glowing” in Greek. My closest friends know that I have a special relationship with Sirius. Only a few planets, the full moon, and the International Space Station outshine this groovy star. A companion star, Sirius B, was discovered by astronomers in 1862. The star we can see with the naked eye, though, is Sirius A, otherwise known as just Sirius. How I do wish I had a powerful telescope to look at the night sky.

Photo by Unsplash in collaboration with Allec Gomes

songbird

7 Replies

is the answer no?
how can i change your mind if so?
where is the space to feel again,
fly free, dream,
nevermore penned in
like a caged bird whose wings
have been clipped,
a songbird unable to sing
show me a glimmer
where all is bright and shimmers
where my bones no longer rattle
there are no systems to battle
the kindness of a smile,
a twinkle in the eye
would set the world aright

Songbird, Fleetwood Mac. Do you have a favorite Fleetwood Mac song? I actually didn’t like this song previously, but have grown to love it. The 1977 Live version is even more lovely. I thought the song went well with the tenor of this poem. It’s one of those times in life in which I just have to keep pushing through. It’s not how I wish to live, a temporary hold before there can be light.

Photo by Joshua J. Cotten on Unsplash

beneath the silver disco ball

9 Replies

strumming on my Taylor
beneath the silver disco ball
putting words to paper
tales of shrooms and alcohol
knowing you knowing me
we made it to the other side
ABBA on old vinyl
it’s been a hella crazy ride
how i pined for what’s his name
i was always cryin’
you said, he’s not worth it, babe
my eyes you took to dryin’
you’re like the king
to my dancing queen
dance the nights away
beneath the silver disco ball
more days to dream and slay!

This poem was written in jest, seriously, except I do have a disco ball hanging from the ceiling in my tiny living room space and a Taylor guitar. And, I do also appreciate my good friends. This is about having that friend you troll around with, the one who always has your back, especially when you’ve had a few too many 😂 Cheers to ABBA and friendship. Take a Chance On Me, by ABBA. Never gets old!

Photo by Harry Grout on Unsplash

toward hope

4 Replies

hit the snooze at half past six
another insane morning
early to bed by nine o’clock
god, i’m so boring
eyes are bleary, body weary
can’t get outta bed
blast some heavy metal,
but still feel like a ton of lead
slingin’ mud,
wade through the muck
movin’ in slow motion,
you’d think i’d have a rhythm down
instead of this commotion
yet, drowning never felt so brutish
am i at my edge?
or being far too shallow
to which shall i allege?
i gather up my strength
defy this bullet to my head
look to my sweet angels above
toward hope may i be led

More by The Warning. Thanks Fox Reviews Rock for introducing me to this great band, a Mexican-born sister trio, and their new album! I dig girl bands, and metal, too ❤ Will be jamming to more of their music. 

Do you ever try singing your poetry? I changed the poem around a bit after singing it so it sounded more metrical or rhythmic. It goes really well with the beat of this song, LOL.

Photo by Aryan Dhiman on Unsplash

dream me a dream

4 Replies

dream me a dream
where peaceful waters flow
wading barefoot through the ripples,
time moving slow

dream me a dream
of misty painted raindrops
leaving stains upon my skin
like white velvet polka dots

dream me a dream
of wind whistling through the pines
the scent of green lingers,
and drowsy clouds sigh

Photo by Meritt Thomas on Unsplash

the weeping willow

4 Replies

listen to the soughing of
the weeping willow tree
bending gently with the wind,
swaying as she pleases

sallow leaves drift elegantly
velvet twigs of green and brown
sweeping always, bending low
to kiss the earthy ground

she stands with pride, fluidity
a brave, bold soul is she
can stand against the strongest wind
yet give pollen to the bees

let us honor her in stillness,
her beauty give us breath
may she dwell beside the mossy pond
her crown to always bloometh

Dance of the North by Joanne Shenandoah, who was of the Oneida Indian Nation. This song was played during a music therapy conference I attended today. It was played in a training using Guided Imagery & Music, a specific type of music therapy. I fell in love with the song, which inspired this poem.

We had a beautiful weeping willow tree in our backyard when I was a kid. I watched it grow until its crown grew to be beautiful and full. It gave me much joy and wonder over the years.

Photo by Fran on Unsplash

jump the highest bridge

2 Replies

my dear,

i would not love you any less

if your life turned out a giant mess

i would take you in my arms

and cover you in kisses,

let the rain pour down

for you, i’ll go the distance

to make you smile for miles and miles,

jump the highest bridge

for you, dear, i am fearless,

and all your doubts are meaningless,

may they float away on the nearest cloud,

for surely you can do without

the vexing chatter in your head

may they be drowned out by the sweet whisper

of promise and my hand upon your heart,

to always protect, to always guard

two imperfect humans on this journey are we,

finding our way through life’s little miseries

striving to be light, fighting to be free

one thing is true and will forever be,

you, my dear, have always

an undying love in me

This poem was inspired by a song, Keep Breathing, by Ingrid Michaelson. I haven’t stopped listening to it since MyGenXerLife posted an article featuring the song. There’s something about the contour of the melody, the lyricism, that catches my breath.

Photo by Sean Pierce on Unsplash

freedom comes at a price

4 Replies

it seems that freedom comes at a price,

a privilege rather than individual right

how i’ve fought for freedom

forever and a day,

free to feel exactly how i say

without restraint, without complaint

from those who judge my particular state

no longer shackled by doubts and fear

i’ve declared this my year

to come home to me

my hopes and dreams shall come to be

never lose myself in another human

or some other dubious, grand illusion

for as surely as trust cost me freedom

i chose a higher path;

i refuse to be beaten

Freedom 90, George Michael. Lyrics here. So much about this video that I love, like how everyone is moving their body, dancing. George Michael was such a great dancer. He’s so into the music. I’m listening to his tunes from the 80s and 90s. Forgotten how good it is. Freedom is precious. I’m grateful everyday to be free and autonomous and hope to never take it for granted.

Photo by Simon Berger on Unsplash

a fireside lullaby

4 Replies

sing to me a lullaby

of peace and joy and loves gone by

take my hand and let’s get high

on fragrant blooms, the midnight sky

dance with the wind to our hearts content

at home with the redwoods, my dearest friends

nature beckons promising solace

for she is divine and perfectly flawless

want to be like the angels as i journey forth

seeking truth, giving love,

wings to fly evermore North

The Rising, Essie Jain. A beautiful, poetic piece. 

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

grace, a beat and a song

2 Replies

thought i saw you
on the metro this morning
flooded by flashbacks
that came without warning

felt your hand
on the small of my back
as though someone hit replay
on that old, weary soundtrack

for a moment in time
wearing rose colored glasses
now nothing left between us
except dust and ashes

i miss you, it’s true
can’t stand to say it
took a piece of my heart,
love, it’s so overrated

starting to question,
does it even exist,
or is it merely
some ill-gotten, fragmented myth?

i shall raise a glass
to solace in solitude
let me bathe in the sun,
the earth, stars, and moon

for that is where i find
my heart rightly belongs
abounding in grace,
a beat and a song

Not Strong Enough, boygenius. Lyrics here. It’s threatening rain in LA. Just waiting for the downpour any minute. Good morning to write about shitty feelings. I revised this poem so many times. Words have a mind and will of their own.

Photo by Eugene Chystiakov on Unsplash

rise to the moon

2 Replies

time, friend or foe?

i most certainly do not know,

except it is fleeting;

is it cheating me?

lest i be the consummate late bloomer,

late to the game and no sooner

did time pass like a flash

of lightning in the sky

terribly frightening,

i’m second to last

dying to my past

and grieving what i missed,

falling behind as though misaligned

if only i knew how to stop

time from slipping away

shall i make the most of every day

within the walls of this present life?

rise to the moon,

and soon, very soon

i’ll catch a dream,

perhaps even in you

down a crooked path i went

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when i think of time gone by,
all the things i’ve missed
hopes and dreams
and visions,
the love that i so wished
would somehow save me from myself,
take away the ache
yet down a crooked path i went,
at times I thought i’d break
should have listened to my gut
oh so young and trusting
learned the hard way, cut by cut
that i’d be left with nothing
sold my soul to lies, got lost
still, in the end was found
my soul emerged, sought the light
turns out light would win
and here am i on a new path
paved with life’s experiences
though not what i set out for,
it’s made all the difference

It’s All Happening Now, BAERD. Full lyrics here. Life really is all happening now, around me everywhere. So many changes in the past several months. I’m not sure when I’ll land…

Photo by Levi Bare on Unsplash

total eclipse of the sun

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the moon decided to eclipse today
the fair sun along its merry way
between the earth and brightest star
a path predestined from afar
a phenomenal sight to behold
another not to occur for years, I’m told
though not on the path of totality
awed nonetheless by our Celestial Galaxy
a time to awaken, heal and expand
set your intentions, expect the grand
life is too short, we have only today
live with intention, live to play
for work is a necessity, will always be there
but a life well lived, truly one cannot spare

All right, so this is not the best poem, but i felt moved to honor the solar eclipse today. And, I wrote it during my lunch break, lol. I went for a walk at 11:11am, the peak of the eclipse in my area, and there was a couple sitting on the curb, trying to catch a glimpse of the eclipse with a metal strainer. They were talking with a stranger, who just so happened to have eclipse glasses. He let each of us borrow them. I saw the eclipse, and it was the coolest thing ever! I’ve never seen any eclipse in real time, and this will probably be the only solar eclipse I see in my lifetime, as the next one won’t occur until 2044 or 2045. So it was really special! Cheers! I hope you were able to enjoy the solar eclipse.

Photo by Unsplash in collaboration with Alex Shuper

lay down your armour

6 Replies

what i wouldn’t give
for a moment with you again
go back in time,
to a time back when
life was nothing more than innocence
long before i learned to abandon penitence
blowing dandelions in a single breath
watching clouds drift by as the sun set
wanted nothing more than
to chase butterflies
through roaming fields of clover
under baby blue skies
i would tell you i love you just as you are
let your light shine like the North Star
lay down your armour,
for the battle you’ve won
there is nothing more for you to overcome
you feel now like your light is dimming,
a longing fulfilled seems endlessly missing
look to your soul, it yet knows
there light and love
will most assuredly surface

A love note to my inner child. 

Photo by Victoria Medvedeva on Unsplash

love you for all eternity

2 Replies

how can i be more for you,
calm all of your fears?
i long so desperately
to wipe away all your tears
you left in the dark,
a whirl of emotion
i felt it immediately,
though no words were spoken
want nothing more than
you to feel free
for the world
to see your authenticity
your beautiful soul, may it take flight
may the burdens you carry
disappear into night
may you feel the depth of my love,
despite my mistakes
may you always remember I’m here
when your heart breaks
bound by soul and maternally
i will love you here and for all eternity

Make You Feel My Love by the one and only Adele. I’m not a huge fan of Adele or pop, though she is certainly a diva. I do love this song, however, and feel it so deeply. This poem was written for my daughter. If we only had a magic wand to make things better.

Photo by J W on Unsplash

forever shimmering

2 Replies

may my heart always be open
no matter how broken
sail through to the light
on the other side
may i be like the tides
take each challenge in stride
ebb and flow to the beat of my own drum
when i feel like i’m failing
bad decisions i’m making
may i be determined to fight, not flee
despite feeling cheated
occasionally defeated
there’s a fire inside,
a courage that guides
when hope seems to have disappeared
may i be like the ocean
though perpetually in motion
forever shimmering reflectively

Photo by Rafael Garcin on Unsplash

in my bones

4 Replies

gentle breezes tease
through the rolled-down window of my car
feel it through my teeth
and long for something so much more
let the cool air chill me,
makes me feel alive
dulls the hankering to exit
long before the clock strikes five
how the summer wind is beckoning,
feel it in my bones
i am surely reckoning,
chasing the unknown
enough of these old skeletons
that shackle me in dark
send them off to neverland
none too soon to depart
for the winds of change are whispering
feel it in my bones
take me to my soul’s past
a place that i called home

Photo by Alexandra Leru on Unsplash

look to the evening sky

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look to the evening sky due west,
a blazing orangescape
gloriously sketched,
a still frame of fire
and gauzy clouds that
enshrouds Mother Earth
she spins in time,
never skipping a beat
scattered light
across heaven’s deep,
i am bedazzled,
no longer frazzled by
the prattle of the day
crimson and amber
chase my worries away
no longer to doubt
what i am about
finding peace,
rest in ease 
all is well within
and with the world

Faith’s Hymn by Beautiful Chorus ❤ This poem has gone through some revisions since initial post.

Photo by João Costa on Unsplash

jarble in my head

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it’s a chilly monday morning,
and i can’t get out of bed
all kinds of mixed up jarble
running through my thick head
pay the rent, do the laundry
all the things i dread
but i can’t move a damn muscle
‘cuz my body feels like lead
perhaps i’ll spend the day
doing absolutely nothing
lie in wait between the sheets,
banish all the rushing,
but then the jarble in my head
might tell me i’m a loser
guess it’s perfectly okay
to have a day that’s
less than mediocre

Sunshine by Transviolet. It’s one of those days, the kind where doing nothing feels really good. Today’s a holiday, so I’m enjoying a 3-day weekend. It’s a small miracle!

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

till the last light fades

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from sea to sea
and across the miles
i’d follow you anywhere,
stardust in my eyes

across a lavender painted sky
to the farthest horizon
casting magic amid the stars,
follow our hearts to Orion

take me with you
on your gallant galaxy quest
follow you to the moon
of this i’ve surely dreamt

till the last light fades away
and we ride this hallowed earth
follow you always, my love
across the universe

Bewitched, by Laufey. This is one talented young woman…dreamy song and vocals 🙂 

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

meant to be?

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wondering if this
is meant to be?
don’t know whether
to walk or plead
keep going round
and round in circles
trying to read
all your non-verbals
perhaps i’m misreading
between the lines
of course it’s too
presumptuous to think 
you’d be mine
can’t help but wonder
why so complicated?
feels like i’m forever fated
to be last in line,
never the right time
to catch feelings
how my heart gets
tired of beating for you
i should let it go
but it’s so hard, you know
just a silly little game we play,
and no one’s to blame but me

Sad to Breathe, The Japanese House. Full lyrics here. It’s a good day to write and cozy up indoors. It’s raining steadily here in LA. Looks like we’ll have rain all weekend. 

Photo by Gahan N Rao on Unsplash

fly free

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just when i feel like
i know where i’m going
the wind knocks me over,
and i’m left blindly groping
stumbling through the dark,
falling miserably short of the mark
days when the tired runs so deep
no amount of sleep can beat it,
and i feel defeated
angry that this i must suffer
seeking protection,
a thing that might buffer
day after day, pour myself out
while mending, on the rebound
need a minute to catch my breath
i am drowning, 
and now i am sounding
a whole lotta crazy
in truth longing to fly free,
leave the tired behind
tell myself, it’s only a matter of time
lock away the light
catch my dream, hang on tight
it’s just within sight

Exhausted by Foo Fighters. Can it be the weekend, please? Work has been draining. I wish it weren’t so. I’m venting, but also jamming to the song below 🙂 The poem has been revised since I first posted. I think I was so tired when I initially wrote it, it didn’t flow the way I wanted it to. I’m done with the revisions now. And I’m also done with my work week. Woo fuckin’ hoo!

Photo by Leo_Visions on Unsplash

more than a flicker

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you and i are

more than a moment,

more than a flicker

in a world getting sicker and sicker

when one wonders if anyone cares

and life seems shitty, unfair

you, darling, are one in a million

in a sky filled with a billion

wicked stars in the sky

perpetually evolving, you and i

reaching high for our zenith,

a connection shared between us

on me you can always rely,

a trustful ally

holding up a light

when no longer you can fight

the hurt you hide inside

fall into me,

can i help you see that you are

more than just a moment,

more than just a flicker

i see in you all that glitters

Inspired by Linkin Park’s One More Light. Full lyrics here. After reading Fox Reviews Rock post on Friendly Fire, another song I love, I spent the day listening to Linkin Park. I’ve loved this band for a long time. It made me think, are we all not looking to be seen in this big, bad world? So, I wish for you the following:

May you feel seen and heard. May you be peaceful and happy. And may you be safe and free.

Photo by Muhammad Ali on Unsplash

dreaming in black and white

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there’s a cold, empty space
where once you laid,
nothing left now
‘cept this silent, heavy weight
the scent of you
has all but disappeared,
how i desperately miss
the scratchy feel of your beard
strangely, my dreams
have lost all their color
long past, the handsome boy
i met last summer
and now i’m left,
a love story to rewrite
of him i only dream
in black and white

Before We Disappear, Chris Cornell. What can I say. This is such a great song. Chris Cornell, amazing songwriter, guitarist, and vocalist. So very missed. RIP. Thought the lyrics fit this poem. Full lyrics here.

Photo by Gary Meulemans on Unsplash

at my edge

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beyond the edge
of human emotion
time stands still,
like magic in moments frozen
lost in such luminosity
consumed by an insatiable curiosity
and wanting more
body, mind, soul and spirit
held in most brilliant of light
angels sing over me in quiet delight
whispering a chorus in my ear
you need not fear, all is well
forever and gladly under your spell
i get lost, leave behind this world
when life’s fury lets loose and unfurls
confusion, the illusion that 
i’m falling, falling and overwhelmed
I am held up by you,
and in your arms i breathe
knowing i am always seen
for where you are, nothing ever fails
the veil is lifted
breathe into me
for then i am surely free

Music will always be my first love ❤ It is the great unifier when we cannot come together around anything else. I have listened to this song a million and one times. It never grows old and is one of my all-time favorites. And Lindsey Buckingham is hot, LOL.

Photo by Julia Kadel on Unsplash

a holiday

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standing in the middle
things don’t seem so bad
perhaps eases an ounce of sad
do you ever feel like you don’t wanna deal,
stuck at the top of a ferris wheel?

wanna turn off this emotion
wanna mute the commotion
’cause i’m feelin’ kinda sick
need some ben and jerry’s quick

leaning into what you say
can barely hear with all the adversity at play
said you’d be a shoulder to lean on?
must tell you haven’t cried in an eon
sorry! didn’t mean to freak you out
it’s true, i very rarely pout!

well, that was a gas
i’m now done with this rant
wish i could stay, but most certainly can’t
gotta split, run and put out more fires
good heavens, no wonder
i’m nothing but tired!
made it to the end of the day
damn, i really need a holiday!

Holiday by Turnstile off their 2021 album, Glow On. Love this album. Cool bass and guitar, how they double up on the chorus and verses, but in the intro and post-chorus, the bass goes up a 4th. I love the drums, too. My favorite Ben and Jerry’s ice cream is Salted Caramel Brownie. What’s yours???

Photo by Nirmal Rajendharkumar on Unsplash

let them live

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untamed and free,
thousands living in the wild
hoofbeats resounding mile after mile
a thunderous rhythm
across wilderness and plains,
wind weaving through
fierce mane and tail
you only want what you deserve
to live freely, unharmed
among your sacred herd
yet threatened by inhumanity
savage humans cause you suffering,
mercilessly separated from your families
immoral men bring upon you calamity
where’s the compassion, justice
and humanity?
save the wild mustangs,
let them live
such brutality,
i cannot forgive

Last year, 20,370 American horses were shipped out of the country to be slaughtered. Most sent to slaughter are in good condition, according to a USDA study. They include an unknown number of mustangs that once roamed freely across our public lands. These horses endure terror, trauma, and pain in crowded trailers without food, water or rest. This will continue day after day, until Congress finally stops it. Urge Congress to support the SAFE Act to end horse slaughter – Return to Freedom Wild Horse Conservation

Take Action for Wild and Domestic Horses and Burros

Wild horses, mustangs, and burros suffer year after year because the Bureau of Land Management wants to control their population in the most brutal way. These animals are chased by helicopter for miles, separated from their families, rounded up and then sent on to be slaughtered. Horses, like humans, build strong familial bonds/friendships within their herds. Some are rescued at auctions by organizations like Return to Freedom, and Skydog Sanctuary; others are not so fortunate. Please urge your Congresspeople to support the SAFE Act.

Photo by Michael Anfang on Unsplash

in perfect rhapsody

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for miles and miles
nothing but blue,
my glassy reflection
cast by the fair moon

let me swim your depths
befriend the whales,
ride the stoic waves
and set to sail

as though i had wings
spun of golden light,
and all in the world
seems more than alright

there’d be no more sorrow,
save delight,
warmed by a canopy
of falling stars, a scattered night

sing with me world,
sing of ocean’s majesty
united together
in perfect rhapsody

Hymn by Karl Jenkins, sung by a female chorus and from the album Adiemus-Songs of Sanctuary. The whole album is absolutely beautiful. I thought this piece caught the spirit of this poem. It takes you to a whole different world. Enjoy.

Photo by guille pozzi on Unsplash

the stars sigh

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there is a certain kind of peace i get
when i look up at the night sky
the stars sigh, yet never lie
on them i can depend
that though this world may fall apart
when feeling low, down in heart
their wonder and their mystery
keep me stirred and wistfully
i dream of things i wish to be
a restoration of humanity,
an end to the insanity
all beings are at peace
when I gaze upon a starry night
it feels like possibility
i rest and introspectively delight

Karl Jenkins: Palladio – 1. Allegretto. If you’re into strings, you’ll love this piece ❤ It’s beautiful. I don’t know why, but I think it has a fierceness to it that I love. 

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

away we’ll steal

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out the door, late again
got you on my mind,
virtue or sin?
your kiss still burning
on my lips
the feel of you
against my hips
feeling quite buzzed,
all because
got you in my system
god knows i should listen
to that small voice
droning in my head
proceed with caution, girl,
look ahead
but you’re so good,
so easy to be with
it’s friday night
we’re feelin’ kinda foolish
i’ll reach for you,
plant a kiss on your neck
we’ll stroll down Ocean
and watch the fiery sunset
let time stand still 
tell me this is real
and away we’ll steal
again and again

Live performance of Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex. I think it’s my favorite song by them. They’ll be on tour in LA in October performing at Kia Forum.

Spring has officially arrived! The first day of Spring was yesterday. The Spring Equinox occurred a day earlier than usual because it’s a Leap Year. Evenings have been so beautiful, and walking at the beach near Ocean Blvd is always a nice way to end the day ❤

Photo by Rachel Cook on Unsplash

chasing after the wind

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loving him is like chasing the wind
never quite sure the direction he’s headed in
she gets caught in a flurry,
can’t help but worry
that just like the wind, he’ll blow over
yet she’s willing to risk overexposure
to a love that’s unreal just to get the feels
the warmth of his embrace
she could live in for days
and when the fair wind decides to turn
her love he leaves unabashedly to spurn
she will pretend that it didn’t mean more
hold in heart all the days before,
silently missing him to the depth of her core

How Can I Love You (Without Breaking Your Heart) by Brit band, The Struts. Catchy tune about not breaking someone’s heart, lol! Thanks so much for visiting!

Photo by Marc Kleen on Unsplash

player

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if i told you my name
would it change
how you play the game
would you say i’m to blame
for being certifiably insane?
follow me downtown into the dark
shadows dancing,
pink lights entrancing
going out on a lark
down the avenue of right or wrong
pick your poison
give battle or belong
take the path of least resistance
when lights go dim,
you’ve been outdistanced
down the curious rabbit hole
hold onto yourself,
stay in control
down on your knees,
trying to please
are you brave enough
to break free?
go ahead, call me crazy
i’ll remain nameless
sensible, sane, hard, and blameless
end to end,
don’t wanna be judged
only enlightened
way done being frightened
hey i’m a player, too

In the spirit of The Hand That Feeds, by NIN. 

Photo by Victor Rodriguez on Unsplash