Tag Archives: Poetry

Crossroads

I did it. Yesterday, April 17, under the New Moon, I resigned from my job. The New Moon symbolizes fresh beginnings, intention-setting, planting seeds, and quiet reflection. My last day will be May 20, the end of my contract and the close of the semester. A chapter is ending.

I began this role as a university psychotherapist in June 2023, just three days after leaving my ex-husband and moving into a small apartment of my own. In many ways, that job marked the beginning of a new life. But the work proved far more demanding than I had anticipated.

During my time at the university, I came to a quiet but persistent truth: I’ve never really enjoyed being a therapist. I kept waiting for it to get better, but it never did. Instead, the work grew heavier, increasingly draining. And I’m afraid not even the summer, winter, and spring breaks could prevent burnout.

What did light me up was my role as the Asian & Pacific Islander (API) Cultural Center Liaison, work rooted in supporting the mental health and wellbeing of API students. That space felt different — lighter — and the students were an absolute joy to work with.

I believe I’m a good trauma therapist. The starry heavens know I’ve poured years and more money than I care to recount on trainings, books, and a lifetime’s worth of lived experience. It just rings hollow. That may sound harsh. I wish I’d known then what I know now. I can’t reclaim that time, but I can choose what comes next: a slower, simpler, more artful life.

I’m hoping to grow my sound therapy practice, Om Sacred Sound Journeys, and leave room for whatever else wants to emerge. I know music will be part of this next chapter and writing, too. I’m planning on beginning a new book.

My last book never found commercial success. I’ve only just started reading it for the first time since it was published in 2017. I mean, how many times did I reread, reshape, and edit the draft? The story of my first trip to Taiwan to meet my birth family marks one of the most significant chapters of my life. Publishing it wasn’t for nothing. A younger version of me wrote those pages from a very different place. And still, the emotions are just as vivid, from the search to the moment we found our way back to one another.

Earlier this week, the oracle card “to the stars and beyond” surfaced in my (tarot) reading from Rose Bae Tarot’s These Blue Bones, a deck having a moment right now. It felt like both a spark and an affirmation for my decision to resign. Lately, I find myself thinking about mortality, not out of gloom, but clarity. Time shifts after fifty. There’s less time to do what makes you happy. In this season, I get to choose how I live it. Autonomy. Personal sovereignty. Independence. Let me embody this new path, to the stars and beyond.


This song brings me back to my younger self. I’ve been especially nostalgic of late. It may not quite fit this post, but it fits my mood perfectly.

Dark Moon

Hello World! Wow, it’s been a minute since I last visited WordPress. It is the eve of Mabon and the Autumn Equinox – if you live in the Northern hemsphere – and  Ostara and the Spring Equinox – if you live in the Southern hemisphere. I will be observing Mabon bright and early first thing tomorrow morning before work…sigh…with a group of other like-minded and spirited individuals. It is also a dark moon or new moon, my favorite.

I am not a morning person, well, more accurately, I’m a slowwwww morning person and hate rushing. I am not a fan of the 8am-5pm work-life schedule of which I am now bound, against the clock at every damn minute of the day. Who’s idea was that anyway? I’m dreaming of cutting that cord, but the day has not yet arrived.

And so the wheel of the year continues…one cycle ends making space for a new one. What lessons have I learned? What paths have I traversed? Hmm…Life has been one continuous wheel of never-ending “tower moments” for the past two and a half years. I hope something more peace loving and soul aligned arrives soon. 

Things that keep me grounded during tower moments include art and spirituality. Collaging has become a beloved outlet, a wide open space to tap into creative expression. It’s such a satisfying artistic art form. I love designing a collage, selecting the photos, pictures, etc, to create a narrative. Maybe I’m the only one who gets it, but who cares! My spiritual practice has taken a nose dive now that I’m back at work. But little moments here and there are better than none at all.

I hope to travel to Taiwan over the winter break in January to visit my birthfamily. My eldest sister has already reserved a hotel. It’s been 13 years since I last saw my birthfamily. I never intended to wait such a long time to revisit. We are much older, and good health is not guaranteed to any of us. I truly hope I will have the energy to be present with my family, not some shell of myself. This academic year, I vowed not to get to the level of burnout I experienced last year. Steps to protect my energy are always at the forefront of my mind. 

In the meantime, welcome Autumn! I look forward to cooler days, to pumpkin pie, and the holiday season. Oh, and to slowing down, of course. Autumn is my favorite time of the year! I do love it so. Hoping you are all safe and well wherever you are. May cooler weather bring a welcome change of pace into your life!


Feature Photo by Šimom Caban on Unsplash

Photo Gallery: Collages by moi!

A Home Blessing

For alter, home, or sacred space.
Cast a circle if that is part of your practice.

By sacred breath and will divine
I cast this circle, draw the line
Here I am safe, here I am found–
Within these walls, now hallowed ground.

May love take root and passion flame,
Magick rise and speak its name.
Let humor dance through every room,
To lift the heart and chase the gloom.

Live well, my dear, within this space,
A haven forged in time and grace.
Where dreams take wing and hope may rest,
A sacred hearth where all feels blessed.

From shadow’s grip, the past released,
Old fears unbound, their hold now ceased.
New seeds are sown in fertile soul,
To bloom in light, to make me whole.

With every breath, let blessings flow,
As peace and solitude softly grow.
So may it be–by flame and sea,
By sky, by stone, by will in me.
✨ It is done. It is sealed. And, so it is. ✨

Photo by petr sidorov on Unsplash

the path less thorny

show me the way
to the path less thorny
where the waters are quiet
and my mind still
where there is ever a quiet corner
away from the grind
and I can sit without worry
there I feel at home,
nestled under a sky loaded
with stars, the moon suspended,
the heavens open wide
on the path less thorny
I live another life
time flows gently
and I am strong again


Photo by Aleksandra Boguslawska on Unsplash

For Best

What to do when the answer’s unclear,
when unable to obtain the clarity you seek
knowing that the wrong decision could
wreak havoc, make life rather bleak.
Oh, the anxiety that spins me round and round.
It makes me weak; I cannot ground!
Feels like a terrible pounding in my head,
and I cannot catch my breath. It’s caught
somewhere between my ribs in spasms
of fear and uncertainty. I must go forward,
for surely there is no right or wrong,
only what is, what might be.
May the clouds lift and the sun promise
a day without panic. Be patient, my dear,
do not to fret, for the answer is near,
though it may not be what you want,
it is for best.

shine

in the quiet of the morning,
my heart open wide
the wind softly whispers
let go, let go my child
yesterday was heavy
a heart full of sorrow,
your troubles, far too many
for any one human to hold
follow the light of the sun
for it will always rise
bask in its warmth and promise
that tomorrow you will shine


The Sun is the source of all life on Earth. It represents optimism and abundance. It radiates with warmth and vitality. The Sun also represents creativity. Sunflowers, one of my favorite flowers, represent happiness, loyalty, and longevity. Young sunflowers move to face the sun, thus the name, “sunflower.” Perhaps, that’s why I’m drawn to them 🙂

Photo by Ryan Tasto on Unsplash

tiny ache

what is this tiny ache swelling
beneath my heart?
a worry, sorrow, dismay?
please let it soon depart!
how restless are my days
wondering what is yet to come
blocks, delays, stagnation
oh hellfire and damnation!
where is this life of ease,
that others claim to live?
perhaps it is all illusion,
a grandiose delusion
if i could trust myself enough
to allay all my fears,
to trust the lot that has been cast,
the ache would disappear


Photo by Javardh on Unsplash

no longer here

the murmur in my heart

decided to become a whisper,

and the whisper grew to be a wail

until the wail became a very loud moan

the moan reminds me that you are no longer here

the tourniquet has stopped the bleeding ’round my heart

yet has done nothing to remove the memories of you from my

pounding head, so i will write and write another day until

the very loud moan becomes a wail, and the wail

softens into a whisper, and the whisper decides

to become a murmur, then there will be

nothing but silence to remind me

that you are no longer here


Photo by Alec Douglas on Unsplash

the raven

my dear friend, the raven,
has a certain kind of MAGICK
dressed in black from head to tail,
has a flair for the dramatic
such a sooty bird is he,
flying fast on graceful wingbeats
watch him dive across the sky
an aerial acrobat and artful spy
fills the blue with an echoing croak
he’s a brilliant trickster under cloak
see him vividly in my dreams,
casting charms as i sleep
bringing change and ancient wisdom
reminds me of all i am to become

a little creek

there’s a mossy little creek

where i like to sit and think

a shallow slope to mull and dream,

where glossy water babbles midstream

i skip barefoot ‘cross the river stones

earth and fire in my bones,

behold the current gently flow,

carrying my dreams safely home


Photo by Maddox Howe on Unsplash

howl at the moon

i hear Nature summoning
run wild through the trees,
taste my youth on the tip of my tongue
at home in this body and evening breeze

a midnight stroll through the green,
to exorcise the ache
howling fiercely at the moon
like some secret language

shadow of trees and cloak of leaves
a romance to ever flourish
as though turning the pages of this life,

and

the

windy

path

diverges


Photo by Unsplash in collaboration with Getty Images

dream me a dream

dream me a dream
where peaceful waters flow
wading barefoot through the ripples,
time moving slow

dream me a dream
of misty painted raindrops
leaving stains upon my skin
like white velvet polka dots

dream me a dream
of wind whistling through the pines
the scent of green lingers,
the drowsy clouds sigh


Photo by Meritt Thomas on Unsplash

the weeping willow

listen to the soughing of
the weeping willow tree
bending gently with the wind,
swaying as she pleases

sallow leaves drift elegantly
velvet twigs of green and brown
sweeping always, bending low
to kiss the earthy ground

she stands with pride, fluidity
a brave, bold soul is she
can stand against the strongest wind
yet give pollen to the bees

let us honor her in stillness,
her beauty give us breath
may she dwell beside the mossy pond
her crown to always bloometh


Dance of the North by Joanne Shenandoah, who was of the Oneida Indian Nation. This song was played during a music therapy conference I attended today. It was played in a training using Guided Imagery & Music, a specific type of music therapy. I fell in love with the song, which inspired this poem.

We had a beautiful weeping willow tree in our backyard when I was a kid. I watched it grow until its crown grew to be beautiful and full. It gave me much joy and wonder over the years.

Photo by Fran on Unsplash

total eclipse of the sun

the moon decided to eclipse today
the fair sun along its merry way
between the earth and brightest star
a path predestined from afar
a phenomenal sight to behold
another not to occur for years, I’m told
though not on the path of totality
awed nonetheless by our Celestial Galaxy
a time to awaken, heal and expand
set your intentions, expect the grand
life is too short, we have only today
live with intention, live to play
for work is a necessity, will always be there
but a life well lived, truly one cannot spare


All right, so this is not the best poem, but i felt moved to honor the solar eclipse today. And, I wrote it during my lunch break, lol. I went for a walk at 11:11am, the peak of the eclipse in my area, and there was a couple sitting on the curb, trying to catch a glimpse of the eclipse with a metal strainer. They were talking with a stranger, who just so happened to have eclipse glasses. He let each of us borrow them. I saw the eclipse, and it was the coolest thing ever! I’ve never seen any eclipse in real time, and this will probably be the only solar eclipse I see in my lifetime, as the next one won’t occur until 2044 or 2045. So it was really special! Cheers! I hope you were able to enjoy the solar eclipse.

Photo by Unsplash in collaboration with Alex Shuper

in perfect rhapsody

for miles and miles
nothing but blue,
my glassy reflection
cast by the fair moon

let me swim your depths
and befriend the whales,
ride the stoic waves,
set to sail

as though on  wings
spun of golden light,
and all in the world
is peaceful and quiet

there’d be no more sorrow,
save delight,
I’m warmed by a canopy
of falling stars, a scattered night

sing with me world,
sing of ocean’s majesty
united together
in perfect rhapsody


Hymn by Karl Jenkins, sung by a female chorus and from the album Adiemus-Songs of SanctuaryThe whole album is absolutely beautiful. I thought this piece caught the spirit of this poem. It takes you to a whole different world. Enjoy.

Photo by guille pozzi on Unsplash

color of rage


the scream that

no one else hears,

concealed behind

beguiling soft eyes,

and yeses

is the color of rage


Photo by Yusuf Sabqi on Unsplash

secret garden

let us dance

in the secret garden

barefoot and free

scattering light like tiny fireflies

across the shadowy sky

and

breathing magic

into the silky air

poet jena

I am so happy to share the following piece below with my readers. It was written by one of the people I hope most to meet one day in person. Ma-Li and I connected a few years ago when she contacted me with news that she was also adopted in Taipei from The Family Planning Association of China. We are just a year apart in age. I was so excited that someone who once lived at  the same orphanage contacted me. Ma-Li currently lives in Germany, but was raised in the UK by British parents. She is a gifted writer and poet. You can read some of her beautifully written poetry at Poet Jena’s Blog. Please stop by for a visit. Here’s a little about Ma-Li in her own words:

Ma-Li2I am a writer, a poet, a thinker, a philosopher, a storyteller, a lover of children and animals and beauty –  an artist, love-junkie and music addict which, in terms of taste, can mean anything and everything…. ! My background is a ‘story within a story’ in the way that there is a ‘play within a play’ in William Shakespeare’s tragedy, “Hamlet”.  It involves being given up to adoption at an early age and adjusting to foreign cultures.  It is a story of a lonely upbringing and at the same time the never ending search for identity.  Above all, it is the archetypal journey from the life saving pages of a diary begun as a despairing teenager to the crystallization of thought as found in the adult poetry of my current writing.

By Ma-Li:

In an television broadcast I caught by non-coincidence, I was reminded of the adopted part of me, what in the end may only amount to a story in an ocean of stories, but still, I felt immediately connected to this interviewee, this woman called Sarah Fischer.

Existence beyond duality says we are all ONE. To find a little piece of ourselves in another is the seed of the hope of this awareness.

Others who have lived a part of our own lives strike us to the very core, or so I have always found. They awake inside us what it is we mean to ourselves. Or what we may have believed we have meant to ourselves for the longest time. As if by magic, there is the sudden and extremely moving recognition of a deep knowing – a sense of timelessness almost.

But perhaps what resonates for me most is when she says, to paraphrase, – it was of great importance to her that the man she met and eventually married had ‘roots’.

Something else which touched me deeply: in order to find out that Germany was her true home, she had to first undertake a trip around the world.

It reminds me that no matter in which ways we choose to do it, whether adoption or by other means, the underlying journey of which this globetrotting, to me, seems to be only an allegory, is one of self-discovery, and moreover, ‘re’-covery. And in it, one sees the soul’s intense longing to finally be acquainted with itself. And what relationship is there or was there ever going to be which is more essential than that?

Sarah Fischer, Globetrotter | Talking Germany | DW.DE | 01.03.2013

http://www.dw.de/sarah-fischer-globetrot

In her current book, “Heimatroulette”, Munich photographer Sarah Fisher describes her search for her own roots. She was adopted by a German couple as baby.

A few closing words from Ma-Li:
I came into contact with the writer of this inspiring blog some time ago during my own attempts to uncover aspects of my adopted past.  It is now coming up to more than forty years since the day that I myself got on that JAL airlines plane headed for a new and unknown life. Finding her was not only a surprise, but a huge unexpected delight. Imagine someone so close in age to me and even having been born in Taiwan!  And that is how the connection began. At present, time will not allow me to write more than this.  Suffice to say that like all adoptions it is a story, and a somewhat involved one at that, whose multifaceted details are to this day still not all known to me.  But for better or worse, adopted, I am. And nowadays I am starting to come around to the thought that the adoptees journey is not as rough a one as I might have believed in the beginning. Although we have never met in person, there is somehow a sense of closeness for me to have met someone such as this, in that space, as her blog so aptly says, “beyond the two worlds”. Simply put. It is an honor to know you Marijane.  And, without having ever been adopted myself our paths might never have crossed.