Can you believe we’re almost midway through June? Is it just me or does time really fly?
I’ve had the past 10 days free of work, frolicking on the beach and house hunting. It’s been exceedingly lovely to rest and restore. I so enjoyed my time off from work and spending time with friends. It was much needed. I don’t think I could have worked another day. In the span of 10 days, I found a new home rental that I’ll be moving into in just a matter of weeks. Wow. It is a time of action with the waxing crescent moon, so I guess the timing is fitting. It feels as though a lifetime occurred in the last 10 days
I’ve gone back and forth about this new home, questioning whether it’s the right move. It’s small, just the right size, very nice, and has cottage-y vibes. I adore the house. The homeowner I experienced as warm and approachable. There’s a small backyard with string lights and enough room to move in my baby grand piano. So what’s the hang up? It’s just further away from the beach, where I’ve lived for the past year. A close friend and I have lived walking distance from each other’s apartment, and I will truly miss that as well as walking across the street to the beach. The new house is in a somewhat mixed neighborhood, meaning it’s in a relatively safe area, but my first impression was, it’s kinda “sketchy.” I keep reminding myself that the home has a backyard. I’ll be able to keep my sweet pup for longer periods of time. I think she’ll feel more comfortable in the space and will have a backyard to explore. I share her with my ex. She loves her doggie door and big backyard at what used to be the home we all shared. It was one of the hardest things ever to leave her.
Change. Change is hard. So many changes in the last year. More changes to come. I should be celebrating, yet I feel a little sad about leaving this space, and ultimately, endings. It’s the end of a chapter. I wanted to stay close, but home properties are less available and more expensive. Life is complicated, messy. How I wish it weren’t so. I will miss this area very much, despite crazy apartment living and crazy neighbors. For many months, it’s been a safe haven, a place to heal.
Why move? I’ve asked myself a million times, weighing the pros and cons obsessively. My lease is up on June 12th, so it seemed an appropriate time. Moreso, I’ve been longing for a home with a backyard for my dog, space for my baby grand, and privacy.
There is much to love about the new house, and I’m grateful that the owner chose me to rent to. The beach is about a 10-minute drive south. Change and transition, nevertheless, are hard, even when it’s for the best. I get attached to things and people. I don’t want to lose what I’ve worked hard to attain. My higher self tells me it’s a time of rebirth, but I seem to be gritting my teeth.
So, cheers to new adventures and new beginnings. If I could trust that the Universe has my back, I suppose transition would feel easier. But trust does not come easy. So be it. Let the packing begin. Once settled, I’m certain I’ll fall in love with the house, and who knows, maybe the neighborhood.
Been obsessed with The Marias latest album, Submarine.No One Noticed seems to describe my mood lately.
remember the first time you brushed the hair back from my eyes it was one of those crazy hot days last July sand covered our bronzed, bare feet you leaned into me with kisses so sweet, and i could barely breathe we were burning alive
you were the blue, always changing like the tide born to love me with all the grace of a blooming sunrise, my morning star we were burning alive
sun and sand, wind through the palms we stuck together, two birds of a feather, day and night i loved you for eternity, my evening song we were burning alive
Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish. Her new album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, dropped yesterday! On repeat, particularly this song, which inspired this poem. Such a great album ❤
tuesday flew by, now it’s wednesday chasing tomorrow and the blues away hoping to catch a hint of glimmer ‘stead of feeling low, mildly triggered
life is bemusing, a merry go round spinning fast, am i losing ground? just when i think it might slow down it’s just a hoax, some sick joke somebody wake me up, oh please ‘cuz man oh man, something’s broke
pick it up, girl, just meditate change the course of this seeming fate just short of chaos, what’s a few raindrops raining down on your parade?
well, pardon me, m’am if i’d rather be sipping a drink by the sea that’s right, you guessed it writing prose and poetry 🙂
No Place Like Home by Vacations. Music makes the daily grind much more bearable ❤