Category Archives: Music

Lotus Summer

2 Replies

Greetings! I’m enjoying the last few days of summer before I head back to work. Tomorrow. I must say, I look forward to Fall and the change of season. Mabon falls on September 22nd, which gives me something to look forward to. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, summer has been immensely restorative; I’ll refer to it as Lotus Summer. Lotus flowers are deeply symbolic in many cultures. Lotuses grow in murky, shallow waters. They rise from the mud without stain, and are therefore viewed as a symbol of purity. Because they return to the water in the evening and open their blooms at the break of day, lotuses represent strength, resilience, and rebirth, as well as transcendence: The lotus symbolizes the human spirit transcending over worldly matter since it blooms from the underworld into the light. I feel, in many ways, like the Lotus.

It’s been a summer of exploring themes around death and rebirth, cycles, beginnings and endings, blooming, rising up from the mud. When last semester ended, I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. It dawned on me recently how little I accounted for the impact of divorce on my wellbeing. I was functioning on adrenaline those first several months of the divorce proceedings. And when it wore off, I plummeted. I’ve discovered that there’s much literature on the impact of divorce on individuals, how it affects their work lives, relationships, and emotional and physical health. I grossly underestimated my ability to manage work, the loss of my dog and support of my daughter, financial instability, three moves, starting over. I thought I was stronger, better, more capable, more confident. But I sank, and I’m usually a stronger swimmer than that.

It’s now late summer – Rebirth. I am standing, not sinking. The divorce no longer feels like a black hole. There are moments of deep sadness and grief. I’m not sure one ever gets over it completely. That’s just me. A friend of mine, a psychotherapist who divorced years ago, told me to expect a three-year-mucking-through-shit; my sound healing mentor, also divorced, said give it five. I rolled my eyes. How little did I know. It’s year two.

I read recently,

The lessons we learn along our journey and the pains that come along with them are but stages on the wheel of regeneration.

Death Doula Oracle – author & photographer – Theodore Saint & Chris Williams

Indeed. So much gratitude for the time off to recover, to regenerate. Solitude and rest were the medicine, and making the request to change my 12-month contract to academic year may have saved my life. I have spent everyday this summer writing and recently took to collaging my journals. Can’t wait to collage my next. Also into drawing dragons of late. Interestingly, I barely listened to any music; much more preferred silence. The only other time I could not bear to listen to music was after the death of my first dachshund, Peppermint. I’m slowly weaving my way back to some favorite artists and bands from the 80s – that era holds a certain nostalgia in my heart that’s quite comforting. And, I miss my younger self. I’ve shared a few moments of summer inspiration here.

And, on I go. Wishing you all a beautiful day. Stop and marvel at the tiny things that bring you joy and pleasure. May you tend to the soil of YOU!

-Photos above were taken at Laguna Beach, CA, by moi on a venture with a friend.

-Yummy matcha coffee & garden pics taken at Anima Mundi Apothecary in Venice, CA.

-My collaged journal-Summer theme: Death/rebirth/exploring the shadows within.

-Little dragon ouroboros drawing-not yet finished, but I’ll eventually get to it.

-Purchase the Death Doula Oracle cards here. They’re powerful cards for working with themes around transition, transformation, death, endings and are absolutely gorgeous.

Feature Photo by Kristijan Arsov on Unsplash

Summering

4 Replies

Four more weeks of summering. I’ve been preoccupied with the impending return to work and have to remind myself to be here now, enjoy the time I have left on break. Still time to relax and explore. Such a sharp contrast from the previous months.

Orchid Quartet

I went to a Candlelight Concert on The Queen Mary the other night. I’m so glad I did! Female group, Orchid Quartet, performed Metallica. There were some diehard Metallica fans hooping and hollering throughout the concert. I love Metallica too and had a front row seat! It was an intimate, cozy event. I felt called to return to my musical roots. Music, my first love. Probably my last! I regret selling my digital piano, but there is truly no room in my tiny space for something that large. I’ll have to settle for picking up my guitar and ukulele. I’m always on the hunt for new music and inspiring artists.

We were permitted to videorecord the last two numbers. Pieces performed included many of Metallica’s greatest hits, including Enter Sandman, Nothing Else Matters, and Master of Puppets. And they did a lovely cover of Whiskey in the Jar. I liked how the quartet were so interactive with the audience. It was all great fun. I uploaded the video I took of Nothing Else Matters below. It was so much better live, of course. Hope to see more of Orchid Quartet in the future and attend more Candlelight Concerts! I got a groovy t-shirt to support Orchid Quartet and remember what a fun time I had. Enjoy!

Soul Aligned

4 Replies

Good day, one and all! I hope you’re enjoying the summer days. I’m grateful that the weather continues to be mild here. The pink and purple twilights are magical. What I love most about this summer break from university is the freedom in which I can move and breathe at my own pace. Ahhhh, slow, meditative mornings with my cup of coffee. Movies in the evenings. Solitude and ritual. It’s been a breath of fresh air, and I feel I’m moving forward with the energy of The Sun, toward new beginnings with the Ace of Pentacles.

I’ve been meditating on my past, present, and future. I spoke of liminal spaces in my last post. It seems that for the past two years, I’ve occupied such a space. Though there has been significant discomfort, I’m learning to embrace the strange, uncomfortable juxtoposition of being “in-between,” forward moving, yet not quite “there.” Death and rebirth, summer’s theme. What is dying? What is being rebirthed? Or birthed?

The notion of building a sound healing practice seems to have taken root, a tiny seed planted. With care, perhaps it’ll bloom and grow. Self-employment is quite scary to me. I had a private practice for two years, and I know how hard it is to establish a thriving small business and maintain financial stability. The weeds. I’ve been a board-certified music therapist since 2009 and recently began training in sound healing, utilizing singing bowls and other instruments, chanting, researching the science behind sound medicine. Yes, there is more research now than ever. I facilitated four sound healing groups last semester and a number of drum circles at work. I would facilitate such sessions much differently in a private practice.

My primary instrument is piano. I majored in piano performance then learned guitar and drumming during the course of my music therapy studies, a requirement to obtain certification. I sing, though it’s not my strong suit. I obtained training in group drum circle facilitation years ago, fell in love with the drum. I miss my piano and playing dearly. I feel that music is calling to me again, my first love. Full circle, perhaps. Interestingly, I have listened to less music than ever before. Silence has been like a balm.

The birth of a sound healing practice is slow, very slow, intentionally. There are so many sound healing practitioners these days, especially in California. It’s almost trendy at the moment. Yet, my intention is to help people along their spiritual and wellness journey, to enhance, to restore, to create an opening for self-discovery and increased spirituality. We’ll see how things develop over the next year. The story continues as I tune into my heart and intuition, caring for the sacred practice I hope to build, one step at a time. 

Photo by petr sidorov on Unsplash

The Magick of Slowness

Leave a reply

Hey out there! Hope you’re having a swell summer. The temperature here is not yet sweltering, so I’m enjoying windows open daily. I’ve been on summer break just over a month – it has been glorious. There is a magick in this liminal space, the in-between semesters, that has brought healing and restoration. I am no longer who I was, yet I am not quite who I am to be. Last year was tough, maybe one of the toughest I’ve ever experienced, but it had its life lessons, and I am taking them to heart.

I’ve been savoring slow mornings, slowing down in general. It’s lovely to leisurely sip my morning coffee without rushing. I have not missed disconnecting from others one bit. Journaling, personal study, spirituality have all been life saving. But mostly the magick of slowing down, sweet silence, the echo of presence, noticing each breath have led to divine surrender, wisdom, and liberation. 

Summer break will come to an end, and I will return to work mid-August. The test of wisdom will come in finding divine balance, countering stress and the pace of work with a solid inner spiritual foundation, finding the power within to face each and every challenge. There is this – I have the rest of the month to indulge in solitude and cultivate my inner divine badass.

The video below is of female French trio, Les Itinérantes. I adore them and recently discovered their music. I find this song, Sahèl, to be quite powerful.

“Sahèl” is a composition in Eldali (a language invented by Elodie, one of the vocalists) that invites you to reconnect with “the source,” to rediscover meaning and roots through a connection with the living, the pursuit of authenticity, and the recollection of ancient memories.

“Sahèl anouvel iè,
Vènia assoulèkh na
Sahèl anoukrie biè,
Chakh liè bioun èlia”

The source is calling for you over there
Approach, let yourself be guided
The source roars below
Join its flow if you dare.

the path less thorny

7 Replies

show me the way
to the path less thorny
where the waters are quiet
and my mind still
where there is ever a quiet corner
away from the grind
and I can sit without worry
there I feel at home,
nestled under a sky loaded
with stars, the moon suspended,
the heavens open wide
on the path less thorny
I live another life
time flows gently
and I am strong again

Photo by Aleksandra Boguslawska on Unsplash

Big Magick

4 Replies

I have been home sick. Worked remote yesterday but today called out. I really don’t like to call out sick. I cannot remember the last time I felt so run down. Ah, it was when I contracted COVID in 2020, followed by a chronic subdural hygroma that was excruciatingly painful. So weird. Who knows how I ended up with a hygroma. I did not anticipate that the work at my present job would be so tough … Seriously, I don’t think I’m a hypochondriac. I typically love life, freedom, creative expression, music, art. I’ll be out for winter break in a month, at which time I will glory in slow mornings, drinking a full cup of coffee, and avoiding the damn 405 like the plague. Nearly a month off, yessss!

I watched an interview with author, Elizabeth Gilbert, who appeared on the Mike Birbiglia show after my work day. I followed Gilbert’s Big Magic podcast for a while and greatly admire her independence, her break from the long held expectations of females. I love that she feels happier in solitude and perhaps more productive, certainly, freer outside the confines of romantic entanglement. I appreciate her views on creativity and work and her ethics related to avoiding that pressure to utilize your creativity as a sole source of income. She noted that she had multiple income streams until her fourth book, Eat Pray, Love, took off and made her a successful author. I have been considering what work path to pursue that allows for increased quality of life and creativity, less stress, and less “helping others,” as truly, I am burnt to a crisp. The more intuitive side of me begs to come out and play. I keep telling her to be patient until I have more space, stillness; her time will come. Life is short, is it not? Especially at this age when there are fewer years left to live. I’d love to engage more in what inspires me – writing, nature, reading, playing music, sound medicine, growing plants, animals, magick.

I am possibly the worst business person ever. I learned that after having a private practice for a couple of years prior to my current job. I admire those who run their own businesses. Self employment comes with a caveat. You have to be successful to sustain a living! And California ain’t cheap. Lessons from Liz Gilbert. Don’t quit your day job to pursue your creative interests. I appreciate that Gilbert was her own sugar mama. I also resonate with the notion that there has to be another reason to make art besides the market. She talked about the book she decided not to publish, The Snow Forest, due to the war between Russia and the Ukraine. Ukranian readers expressed their disdain at the release due to the book’s Russian setting. Gilbert said it took three years to write. But she got the message, how harmful it would be to release the book at such a time, two years after Russia invaded Ukraine. Wow. It is sitting on a shelf for another time or maybe never.

I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea of creating work for the simple joy of creating, whether others see it, read it, like it or not. Wouldn’t it be dreamy to make money doing what you love, but for some of us, perhaps it’s not in the stars. There will always be others who are more talented, more ambitious, more successful, in their prime. Maybe I need to aim higher. Manifest more diligently. One can daydream, even in mid-life, and make shifts slowly towards a path that is more fulfilling. I am too old to work this hard, at least my body tells me so. And I must listen. Wimp or not, it is personal choice and the freedom to have that choice. When I have figured it all out, I will let you know. It may be a little while yet.

Photo by Sofia Holmberg on Unsplash

fireproof

3 Replies

thinking blue

under the last quarter moon

lazy summer afternoons,

beachy vibes and thrills in june

the fire behind your eyes,

like golden ember

earth that binds

it’s the spark i’ll remember,

my muse

two wayfaring souls drawn together

boundless are we

eternal,

Fireproof

Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine. Lyrics here.

Photo by Unsplash in collaboration with Spencer Backman

new beginnings

6 Replies

Can you believe we’re almost midway through June? Is it just me or does time really fly?

I’ve had the past 10 days free of work, frolicking on the beach and house hunting. It’s been exceedingly lovely to rest and restore. I so enjoyed my time off from work and spending time with friends. It was much needed. I don’t think I could have worked another day. In the span of 10 days, I found a new home rental that I’ll be moving into in just a matter of weeks. Wow. It is a time of action with the waxing crescent moon, so I guess the timing is fitting. It feels as though a lifetime occurred in the last 10 days 

I’ve gone back and forth about this new home, questioning whether it’s the right move. It’s small, just the right size, very nice, and has cottage-y vibes. I adore the house. The homeowner I experienced as warm and approachable. There’s a small backyard with string lights and enough room to move in my baby grand piano. So what’s the hang up? It’s just further away from the beach, where I’ve lived for the past year. A close friend and I have lived walking distance from each other’s apartment, and I will truly miss that as well as walking across the street to the beach. The new house is in a somewhat mixed neighborhood, meaning it’s in a relatively safe area, but my first impression was, it’s kinda “sketchy.” I keep reminding myself that the home has a backyard. I’ll be able to keep my sweet pup for longer periods of time. I think she’ll feel more comfortable in the space and will have a backyard to explore. I share her with my ex. She loves her doggie door and big backyard at what used to be the home we all shared. It was one of the hardest things ever to leave her.

Change. Change is hard. So many changes in the last year. More changes to come. I should be celebrating, yet I feel a little sad about leaving this space, and ultimately, endings. It’s the end of a chapter. I wanted to stay close, but home properties are less available and more expensive. Life is complicated, messy. How I wish it weren’t so. I will miss this area very much, despite crazy apartment living and crazy neighbors. For many months, it’s been a safe haven, a place to heal.

Why move? I’ve asked myself a million times, weighing the pros and cons obsessively. My lease is up on June 12th, so it seemed an appropriate time. Moreso, I’ve been longing for a home with a backyard for my dog, space for my baby grand, and privacy.

There is much to love about the new house, and I’m grateful that the owner chose me to rent to. The beach is about a 10-minute drive south. Change and transition, nevertheless, are hard, even when it’s for the best. I get attached to things and people. I don’t want to lose what I’ve worked hard to attain. My higher self tells me it’s a time of rebirth, but I seem to be gritting my teeth.

So, cheers to new adventures and new beginnings. If I could trust that the Universe has my back, I suppose transition would feel easier. But trust does not come easy. So be it. Let the packing begin. Once settled, I’m certain I’ll fall in love with the house, and who knows, maybe the neighborhood.

Been obsessed with The Marias latest album, Submarine. No One Noticed seems to describe my mood lately. 

Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash

burning alive

5 Replies

remember the first time
you brushed the hair back
from my eyes
it was one of those crazy hot days last July
sand covered our bronzed, bare feet
you leaned into me with kisses so sweet,
and i could barely breathe
we were burning alive

you were the blue,
always changing like the tide
born to love me with all the grace
of a blooming sunrise,
my morning star
we were burning alive

sun and sand,
wind through the palms
we stuck together,
two birds of a feather,
day and night
i loved you for eternity,
my evening song
we were burning alive

Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish. Her new album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, dropped yesterday! On repeat, particularly this song, which inspired this poem. Such a great album ❤ 

Photo by Storiès on Unsplash

let go of ego

10 Replies

this is where i find myself
struggling to embrace
all that is the human experience
i’d soon forget our race
dying to let go of ego,
vying for some balance
finding shelter incognito
in a kind and gentler space
remember who i am,
remember who i’m not
let go of shallow words and gestures
how tiresome are your arrogant thoughts
to live and breathe a life of love
of this i shall pursue
i have no time for human games
i long for a life, a love that’s true

I Hate Everything About You-Live Acoustic, Three Days Grace. An oldie but goodie…my “I don’t give a fuck meter” is at an all time high. Full song lyrics here.

Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

songbird

7 Replies

is the answer no?
how can i change your mind if so?
where is the space to feel again,
fly free, dream,
nevermore penned in
like a caged bird whose wings
have been clipped,
a songbird unable to sing
show me a glimmer
where all is bright and shimmers
where my bones no longer rattle
there are no systems to battle
the kindness of a smile,
a twinkle in the eye
would set the world aright

Songbird, Fleetwood Mac. Do you have a favorite Fleetwood Mac song? I actually didn’t like this song previously, but have grown to love it. The 1977 Live version is even more lovely. I thought the song went well with the tenor of this poem. It’s one of those times in life in which I just have to keep pushing through. It’s not how I wish to live, a temporary hold before there can be light.

Photo by Joshua J. Cotten on Unsplash

toward hope

4 Replies

hit the snooze at half past six
another insane morning
early to bed by nine o’clock
god, i’m so boring
eyes are bleary, body weary
can’t get outta bed
blast some heavy metal,
but still feel like a ton of lead
slingin’ mud,
wade through the muck
movin’ in slow motion,
you’d think i’d have a rhythm down
instead of this commotion
yet, drowning never felt so brutish
am i at my edge?
or being far too shallow
to which shall i allege?
i gather up my strength
defy this bullet to my head
look to my sweet angels above
toward hope may i be led

More by The Warning. Thanks Fox Reviews Rock for introducing me to this great band, a Mexican-born sister trio, and their new album! I dig girl bands, and metal, too ❤ Will be jamming to more of their music. 

Do you ever try singing your poetry? I changed the poem around a bit after singing it so it sounded more metrical or rhythmic. It goes really well with the beat of this song, LOL.

Photo by Aryan Dhiman on Unsplash

the weeping willow

4 Replies

listen to the soughing of
the weeping willow tree
bending gently with the wind,
swaying as she pleases

sallow leaves drift elegantly
velvet twigs of green and brown
sweeping always, bending low
to kiss the earthy ground

she stands with pride, fluidity
a brave, bold soul is she
can stand against the strongest wind
yet give pollen to the bees

let us honor her in stillness,
her beauty give us breath
may she dwell beside the mossy pond
her crown to always bloometh

Dance of the North by Joanne Shenandoah, who was of the Oneida Indian Nation. This song was played during a music therapy conference I attended today. It was played in a training using Guided Imagery & Music, a specific type of music therapy. I fell in love with the song, which inspired this poem.

We had a beautiful weeping willow tree in our backyard when I was a kid. I watched it grow until its crown grew to be beautiful and full. It gave me much joy and wonder over the years.

Photo by Fran on Unsplash

freedom comes at a price

4 Replies

it seems that freedom comes at a price,

a privilege rather than individual right

how i’ve fought for freedom

forever and a day,

free to feel exactly how i say

without restraint, without complaint

from those who judge my particular state

no longer shackled by doubts and fear

i’ve declared this my year

to come home to me

my hopes and dreams shall come to be

never lose myself in another human

or some other dubious, grand illusion

for as surely as trust cost me freedom

i chose a higher path;

i refuse to be beaten

Freedom 90, George Michael. Lyrics here. So much about this video that I love, like how everyone is moving their body, dancing. George Michael was such a great dancer. He’s so into the music. I’m listening to his tunes from the 80s and 90s. Forgotten how good it is. Freedom is precious. I’m grateful everyday to be free and autonomous and hope to never take it for granted.

Photo by Simon Berger on Unsplash

a fireside lullaby

4 Replies

sing to me a lullaby

of peace and joy and loves gone by

take my hand and let’s get high

on fragrant blooms, the midnight sky

dance with the wind to our hearts content

at home with the redwoods, my dearest friends

nature beckons promising solace

for she is divine and perfectly flawless

want to be like the angels as i journey forth

seeking truth, giving love,

wings to fly evermore North

The Rising, Essie Jain. A beautiful, poetic piece. 

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

look to the evening sky

Leave a reply

look to the evening sky due west,
a blazing orangescape
gloriously sketched,
a still frame of fire
and gauzy clouds that
enshrouds Mother Earth
she spins in time,
never skipping a beat
scattered light
across heaven’s deep,
i am bedazzled,
no longer frazzled by
the prattle of the day
crimson and amber
chase my worries away
no longer to doubt
what i am about
finding peace,
rest in ease 
all is well within
and with the world

Faith’s Hymn by Beautiful Chorus ❤ This poem has gone through some revisions since initial post.

Photo by João Costa on Unsplash

meant to be?

2 Replies

wondering if this
is meant to be?
don’t know whether
to walk or plead
keep going round
and round in circles
trying to read
all your non-verbals
perhaps i’m misreading
between the lines
of course it’s too
presumptuous to think 
you’d be mine
can’t help but wonder
why so complicated?
feels like i’m forever fated
to be last in line,
never the right time
to catch feelings
how my heart gets
tired of beating for you
i should let it go
but it’s so hard, you know
just a silly little game we play,
and no one’s to blame but me

Sad to Breathe, The Japanese House. Full lyrics here. It’s a good day to write and cozy up indoors. It’s raining steadily here in LA. Looks like we’ll have rain all weekend. 

Photo by Gahan N Rao on Unsplash

fly free

Leave a reply

just when i feel like
i know where i’m going
the wind knocks me over,
and i’m left blindly groping
stumbling through the dark,
falling miserably short of the mark
days when the tired runs so deep
no amount of sleep can beat it,
and i feel defeated
angry that this i must suffer
seeking protection,
a thing that might buffer
day after day, pour myself out
while mending, on the rebound
need a minute to catch my breath
i am drowning, 
and now i am sounding
a whole lotta crazy
in truth longing to fly free,
leave the tired behind
tell myself, it’s only a matter of time
lock away the light
catch my dream, hang on tight
it’s just within sight

Exhausted by Foo Fighters. Can it be the weekend, please? Work has been draining. I wish it weren’t so. I’m venting, but also jamming to the song below 🙂 The poem has been revised since I first posted. I think I was so tired when I initially wrote it, it didn’t flow the way I wanted it to. I’m done with the revisions now. And I’m also done with my work week. Woo fuckin’ hoo!

Photo by Leo_Visions on Unsplash

more than a flicker

6 Replies

you and i are

more than a moment,

more than a flicker

in a world getting sicker and sicker

when one wonders if anyone cares

and life seems shitty, unfair

you, darling, are one in a million

in a sky filled with a billion

wicked stars in the sky

perpetually evolving, you and i

reaching high for our zenith,

a connection shared between us

on me you can always rely,

a trustful ally

holding up a light

when no longer you can fight

the hurt you hide inside

fall into me,

can i help you see that you are

more than just a moment,

more than just a flicker

i see in you all that glitters

Inspired by Linkin Park’s One More Light. Full lyrics here. After reading Fox Reviews Rock post on Friendly Fire, another song I love, I spent the day listening to Linkin Park. I’ve loved this band for a long time. It made me think, are we all not looking to be seen in this big, bad world? So, I wish for you the following:

May you feel seen and heard. May you be peaceful and happy. And may you be safe and free.

Photo by Muhammad Ali on Unsplash

at my edge

9 Replies

beyond the edge
of human emotion
time stands still,
like magic in moments frozen
lost in such luminosity
consumed by an insatiable curiosity
and wanting more
body, mind, soul and spirit
held in most brilliant of light
angels sing over me in quiet delight
whispering a chorus in my ear
you need not fear, all is well
forever and gladly under your spell
i get lost, leave behind this world
when life’s fury lets loose and unfurls
confusion, the illusion that 
i’m falling, falling and overwhelmed
I am held up by you,
and in your arms i breathe
knowing i am always seen
for where you are, nothing ever fails
the veil is lifted
breathe into me
for then i am surely free

Music will always be my first love ❤ It is the great unifier when we cannot come together around anything else. I have listened to this song a million and one times. It never grows old and is one of my all-time favorites. And Lindsey Buckingham is hot, LOL.

Photo by Julia Kadel on Unsplash

merry go round

Leave a reply

tuesday flew by, now it’s wednesday
chasing tomorrow and the blues away
hoping to catch a hint of glimmer
‘stead of feeling low, mildly triggered

life is bemusing, a merry go round
spinning fast, am i losing ground?
just when i think it might slow down
it’s just a hoax, some sick joke
somebody wake me up, oh please
‘cuz man oh man, something’s broke

pick it up, girl, just meditate
change the course of this seeming fate
just short of chaos, 
what’s a few raindrops
raining down on your parade?

well, pardon me, m’am
if i’d rather be
sipping a drink by the sea
that’s right,
you guessed it
writing prose and poetry 🙂

No Place Like Home by Vacations. Music makes the daily grind much more bearable ❤ 

Photo by Unsplash in collaboration with Alexander Mills

sail away

1 Reply

this morning you greeted me with a kiss

twelve o’clock noon

and i reminisce

my faded t-shirt still smells of you

i’m hopeless, a romantic

don’t mean to be pedantic,

but i know every curve of your gorgeous face

this afternoon we sailed Marina Del Rey

though the skies began threatening gray

not a worry or care,

your hand brushed back my hair

as the wind whipped through the sails

this evening we strolled under a strawberry moon

warm seabreezes, jasmine’s sugared bloom

you said, “let’s swim,” with a playful grin

and into the waves we dove

Photo by Bobby Stevenson on Unsplash

foolish roulette

4 Replies

here am i

a breath and a sigh

away from you

you and i were going places

feeling safe, like homeostasis

then you left without a word

no promises did we make

yet to be erased,

left to wonder, was i replaced?

such a silly thing

to fall so hard for you

ignored the signs, this is what you do

lesson learned, no regrets

i’ll behave, still left to guess

you’ve moved on

lest i forget

get tangled up in love, a foolish roulette

Foo Fighters, “Stranger Things Have Happened”


Photo by Lenstravelier on Unsplash

ain’t no way

1 Reply

left on an early weekend morn
despite the pity
and the scorn
the sun shone brightly
belied tears cried nightly
because of you
left a houseful of memories,
my dog, baby grand
no one could stop me,
what I had planned
weeks, months in the dark
alone in the crazy,
had i missed the mark?
running and faded
beyond jaded
part of me died
lucky i survived
free me, i will take my stand
free me, this i demand
to walk away, i knew i’d pay
for my sanity
embraced the gravity
to be free
no way in hell
can you stop me
free me, i will take my stand
free me, this i demand
beginning to end
on this i depend
that i will be free
ain’t no way
can you take it away 

“Free Me” by Foo Fighters. This song has been on repeat. I’ve been listening to their earlier stuff as well as their latest album. It takes time to live in each song, learn the lyrics, and feel the vibe. This is one of those songs that so clearly resonates. I’ve worked hard to earn free.

Photo by Gary Meulemans on Unsplash

let the music play on

2 Replies

let the music play on
for therein is real magic
sweet melody,
like the air i breathe
life fades away
angels and devils at play
songs that save my soul
this brokenness indeed made whole
forever young, forever free
give me the beat of a drum
and i’ll soar for eternity

This song by the Foo Fighters, “Rest,” is like a lullaby of sorts. Although I’m not sure of the meaning, I feel that it’s a tribute to Foo Fighters’ beloved drummer, Taylor Hawkins, who died in 2022. I was so saddened by the news of his death believed to have been caused by a drug overdose and an enlarged heart, as I’m a huge Taylor Hawkins fan. There are some great rock n’ roll drummers, including Dave Grohl, but there is something about Hawkins that I loved. The way to my heart will always be through music ♡ Wish that I had more experience drumming!

Feature Photo Taylor Hawkins performing in 2018 CC BY 2.0. Credit: Raph PH

wade into you

2 Replies

lost inside my head
too soon to forget
you’ve got me aching
helplessly craving
your lips on mine
like sweet, sweet summertime
riding the surf with you
what is it you do
that gets me so high?
can’t deny
the madness between us
you’re my latest weakness
but i don’t mind
cuz you make me feel so, so fine
wade into you every time

Would like to set this to music, a song?

Foo Fighters, “Show Me How,” featuring his daughter, Violet, on vocals. I love the vibe of this song. I get inspired by music to write..

Feature Photo by Unsplash in coordination with Natalia Blauth

take twelve

6 Replies

hey girl,
what’s that you say
you’re tired of giving your heart away?

far too feckless
honey’d and reckless
on this cold, moonless night

said you’re looking for Mr Right
but took a wrong turn, yeah took to flight
fled the enemy
goddamn the dastardly

fooled you once, twice maybe
you’re a big girl now
shake it off baby
live another day,
don’t let it get away

trust that there’s more, more than this
more than just a lover’s kiss
love letters to myself
take a beat, or take twelve

’cause you are gold
can’t you see?
keep your heart open,
yeah, own your ‘free’

“Take Twelve” by jazz trumpeter, Lee Morgan, performed by the Lee Morgan Quintet

Photo by Seth Doyle on Unsplash

dance between the shadows

Leave a reply 
dance, dance
dance at dawn
headphones on
no regrets 

dance, dance
in the dark 
between the shadows
and the stars

dance, dance
like there’s
no tomorrow
like no one’s watching
to hell with sorrow

dance, dance 
you
out of my heart
out of my head
too soon to depart

dance, dance
be free, 
be wild
remember your touch,
always your smile

I’m digging this new tune by Rob Grant, Lana Del Rey, and ANNA…Takes my breath away.

I think dance is one of the most beautiful of art forms. I find myself dancing, headphones on and music blaring, with abandon all the time. 

Cheers to slow dancing and getting lost between the shadows. 

Photo by Olenka Kotyk on Unsplash