the weeping willow

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listen to the soughing of
the weeping willow tree
bending gently with the wind,
swaying as she pleases

sallow leaves drift elegantly
velvet twigs of green and brown
sweeping always, bending low
to kiss the earthy ground

she stands with pride, fluidity
a brave, bold soul is she
can stand against the strongest wind
yet give pollen to the bees

let us honor her in stillness,
her beauty give us breath
may she dwell beside the mossy pond
her crown to always bloometh

Dance of the North by Joanne Shenandoah, who was of the Oneida Indian Nation. This song was played during a music therapy conference I attended today. It was played in a training using Guided Imagery & Music, a specific type of music therapy. I fell in love with the song, which inspired this poem.

We had a beautiful weeping willow tree in our backyard when I was a kid. I watched it grow until its crown grew to be beautiful and full. It gave me much joy and wonder over the years.

Photo by Fran on Unsplash

jump the highest bridge

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my dear,

i would not love you any less

if your life turned out a giant mess

i would take you in my arms

and cover you in kisses,

let the rain pour down

for you, i’ll go the distance

to make you smile for miles and miles,

jump the highest bridge

for you, dear, i am fearless,

and all your doubts are meaningless,

may they float away on the nearest cloud,

for surely you can do without

the vexing chatter in your head

may they be drowned out by the sweet whisper

of promise and my hand upon your heart,

to always protect, to always guard

two imperfect humans on this journey are we,

finding our way through life’s little miseries

striving to be light, fighting to be free

one thing is true and will forever be,

you, my dear, have always

an undying love in me

This poem was inspired by a song, Keep Breathing, by Ingrid Michaelson. I haven’t stopped listening to it since MyGenXerLife posted an article featuring the song. There’s something about the contour of the melody, the lyricism, that catches my breath.

Photo by Sean Pierce on Unsplash

freedom comes at a price

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it seems that freedom comes at a price,

a privilege rather than individual right

how i’ve fought for freedom

forever and a day,

free to feel exactly how i say

without restraint, without complaint

from those who judge my particular state

no longer shackled by doubts and fear

i’ve declared this my year

to come home to me

my hopes and dreams shall come to be

never lose myself in another human

or some other dubious, grand illusion

for as surely as trust cost me freedom

i chose a higher path;

i refuse to be beaten

Freedom 90, George Michael. Lyrics here. So much about this video that I love, like how everyone is moving their body, dancing. George Michael was such a great dancer. He’s so into the music. I’m listening to his tunes from the 80s and 90s. Forgotten how good it is. Freedom is precious. I’m grateful everyday to be free and autonomous and hope to never take it for granted.

Photo by Simon Berger on Unsplash

music rocks

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Good Sunday to you! No new poem today, well maybe later 🙂 I’ve been in a music therapy conference all day on strengths-based improvisation. The conference is all week – gotta earn those continuing ed credits. It was a blast. I haven’t connected with other music therapists in eons, so although it was virtual, it was a lovely experience to meet with other musicians/music therapists online. We did some improvising on whatever instruments we had on hand. I played my djembe, a couple of frame drums and my new e-piano, which sadly, I don’t play often enough. I feel so lucky to be a musician and to have had the opportunities I’ve had to study music. And I very much love sharing music with others.

Drumming is so near and dear to my heart. I enjoy it almost as much as playing the piano. When I studied piano performance, I was terrible at improvising- literally froze. But when I studied music therapy, I learned that I could improvise (on keyboard mostly), play by ear, and read lead sheets pretty easily after I built some skill. I took drum facilitator trainings through HealthRhythms and am starting a healing drum circles program at work next academic year – was awarded a small grant to buy more drums. All of this to say that I love music so much. I cannot imagine this life without it. There is a song or a piece for nearly every emotion, mood, occasion, event, even if to just dance around to in the privacy of your own space.

It would be a dream to conduct an orchestra. I took conducting in undergrad, but have absolutely no experience, except practicing in class. I remember my professor telling some of us we looked like we were stirring pudding, lol! I especially love watching female conductors because – well, they’re just so badass. There’s a female conductor and violinist, Karina Canellakis, to guest conduct the LA Philharmonic later this month. I’d like to go, but traffic is always such a pain to the Walt Disney Concert Hall. I hate the traffic! One of my favorite female conductors is Mirga Gražinyte-Tyla . We have the same birthday! Another is Elisabeth Fuchs. I linked a YouTube video of Fuchs conducting the Zagreb Philharmonic Orchestra and Choir Zvjezdice. The performance features cello soloist, HAUSER, performing Benedictus from The Armed Man: A Mass for Peace by Karl Jenkins (Hendon Music Inc BMI) at his classical solo concert, which was held at Lisinski Concert Hall in Zagreb (October 2017). I literally cried the first time I heard this piece, it’s so beautiful. I hope you give it a listen and enjoy it.

This is also Coachella week, so been tuning into YouTube Coachella 2024 Live! Loved The Last Dinner Party and Bleachers last night. Cheers to music and more of it! Thanks for reading this little blurb about my deep love of music.

Hauser performing Benedictus from The Armed Man: A Mass for Peace, Karl Jenkins. Conductor, Elisabeth Fuchs. Lyrics here.

Photo by Andrea Zanenga on Unsplash

a fireside lullaby

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sing to me a lullaby

of peace and joy and loves gone by

take my hand and let’s get high

on fragrant blooms, the midnight sky

dance with the wind to our hearts content

at home with the redwoods, my dearest friends

nature beckons promising solace

for she is divine and perfectly flawless

want to be like the angels as i journey forth

seeking truth, giving love,

wings to fly evermore North

The Rising, Essie Jain. A beautiful, poetic piece. 

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

rise to the moon

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time, friend or foe?

i most certainly do not know,

except it is fleeting;

is it cheating me?

lest i be the consummate late bloomer,

late to the game and no sooner

did time pass like a flash

of lightning in the sky

terribly frightening,

i’m second to last

dying to my past

and grieving what i missed,

falling behind as though misaligned

if only i knew how to stop

time from slipping away

shall i make the most of every day

within the walls of this present life?

rise to the moon,

and soon, very soon

i’ll catch a dream,

perhaps even in you

down a crooked path i went

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when i think of time gone by,
all the things i’ve missed
hopes and dreams
and visions,
the love that i so wished
would somehow save me from myself,
take away the ache
yet down a crooked path i went,
is it no wonder i didn’t break?
should have listened to my gut
far too young and trusting
learned the hard way, cut by cut
and was left with nothing
sold my soul to lies, so lost
still in the end was found
my soul re-emerged;
i saved myself,
and here am i on a new path
paved with life’s hard-knock experiences
though not what i set out on,
it has made all the difference

It’s All Happening Now, BAERD. Full lyrics here. Life really is all happening now, around me everywhere. So many changes in the past several months. I’m not sure when or where I’ll land…

Photo by Levi Bare on Unsplash

total eclipse of the sun

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the moon decided to eclipse today
the fair sun along its merry way
between the earth and brightest star
a path predestined from afar
a phenomenal sight to behold
another not to occur for years, I’m told
though not on the path of totality
awed nonetheless by our Celestial Galaxy
a time to awaken, heal and expand
set your intentions, expect the grand
life is too short, we have only today
live with intention, live to play
for work is a necessity, will always be there
but a life well lived, truly one cannot spare

All right, so this is not the best poem, but i felt moved to honor the solar eclipse today. And, I wrote it during my lunch break, lol. I went for a walk at 11:11am, the peak of the eclipse in my area, and there was a couple sitting on the curb, trying to catch a glimpse of the eclipse with a metal strainer. They were talking with a stranger, who just so happened to have eclipse glasses. He let each of us borrow them. I saw the eclipse, and it was the coolest thing ever! I’ve never seen any eclipse in real time, and this will probably be the only solar eclipse I see in my lifetime, as the next one won’t occur until 2044 or 2045. So it was really special! Cheers! I hope you were able to enjoy the solar eclipse.

Photo by Unsplash in collaboration with Alex Shuper

love you for all eternity

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how can i be more for you,
calm all of your fears?
i long so desperately
to wipe away all your tears
you left in the dark,
a whirl of emotion
i felt it immediately,
though no words were spoken
want nothing more than
you to feel free
for the world
to see your authenticity
your beautiful soul, may it take flight
may the burdens you carry
disappear into night
may you feel the depth of my love,
despite my mistakes
may you always remember I’m here
when your heart breaks
bound by soul and maternally
i will love you here and for all eternity

Photo by J W on Unsplash

forever shimmering

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may my heart always be open
no matter how broken
sail through to the light
on the other side
may i be like the tides
take each challenge in stride
ebb and flow to the beat of my own drum
when i feel like i’m failing
bad decisions i’m making
may i be determined to fight, not flee
despite feeling cheated
occasionally defeated
there’s a fire inside,
a courage that guides
when hope seems to have disappeared
may i be like the ocean
though perpetually in motion
forever shimmering reflectively

Photo by Rafael Garcin on Unsplash

in my bones

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gentle breezes tease
through the rolled-down window of my car
feel it through my teeth
and long for something so much more
let the cool air chill me,
makes me feel alive
dulls the hankering to exit
long before the clock strikes five
how the summer wind is beckoning,
feel it in my bones
i am surely reckoning,
chasing the unknown
enough of these old skeletons
that shackle me in dark
send them off to neverland
none too soon to depart
for the winds of change are whispering
feel it in my bones
take me to my soul’s past
a place that i called home

Photo by Alexandra Leru on Unsplash

look to the evening sky

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look to the evening sky due west,
a blazing orangescape
gloriously sketched,
a still frame of fire
and gauzy clouds that
enshrouds Mother Earth
she spins in time,
never skipping a beat
scattered light
across heaven’s deep,
i am bedazzled,
no longer frazzled by
the prattle of the day
crimson and amber
chase my worries away
no longer to doubt
what i am about
finding peace,
rest in ease 
all is well within
and with the world

Faith’s Hymn by Beautiful Chorus ❤ This poem has gone through some revisions since initial post.

Photo by João Costa on Unsplash

wild ride in your little red corvette

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take a wild ride down PCH
in your little red corvette
all our worries we’ll assuage
as we race against the wind
top down, radio booming
taste the salty air
the smile on your lips
makes me high
must forgive me if i stare
you reach and take
my hand in yours,
the other’s on the wheel
those steely blues
gazing into mine
always make me reel
takin’ a wild ride down PCH
in your little red corvette
time spent with you, babe,
never shall i regret

Bioluminescence by Goth Babe. This is such a fun, happy song, and the video is stunning. Let’s make for the ocean!

Photo by Nicole Herrero on Unsplash

jarble in my head

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it’s a chilly monday morning,
and i can’t get out of bed
all kinds of mixed up jarble
running through my thick head
pay the rent, do the laundry
all the things i dread
but i can’t move a damn muscle
‘cuz my body feels like lead
perhaps i’ll spend the day
doing absolutely nothing
lie in wait between the sheets,
banish all the rushing,
but then the jarble in my head
might tell me i’m a loser
guess it’s perfectly okay
to have a day that’s
less than mediocre

Sunshine by Transviolet. It’s one of those days, the kind where doing nothing feels really good. Today’s a holiday, so I’m enjoying a 3-day weekend. It’s a small miracle!

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

till the last light fades

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from sea to sea
and across the miles
i’d follow you anywhere,
stardust in my eyes

across a lavender painted sky
to the farthest horizon
casting magic amid the stars,
follow our hearts to Orion

take me with you
on your gallant galaxy quest
follow you to the moon
of this i’ve surely dreamt

till the last light fades away
and we ride this hallowed earth
follow you always, my love
across the universe

Bewitched, by Laufey. This is one talented young woman…dreamy song and vocals 🙂 

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

meant to be?

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wondering if this
is meant to be?
don’t know whether
to walk or plead
keep going round
and round in circles
trying to read
all your non-verbals
perhaps i’m misreading
between the lines
of course it’s too
presumptuous to think 
you’d be mine
can’t help but wonder
why so complicated?
feels like i’m forever fated
to be last in line,
never the right time
to catch feelings
how my heart gets
tired of beating for you
i should let it go
but it’s so hard, you know
just a silly little game we play,
and no one’s to blame but me

Sad to Breathe, The Japanese House. Full lyrics here. It’s a good day to write and cozy up indoors. It’s raining steadily here in LA. Looks like we’ll have rain all weekend. 

Photo by Gahan N Rao on Unsplash

fly free

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just when i feel like
i know where i’m going
the wind knocks me over,
and i’m left blindly groping
stumbling through the dark,
falling miserably short of the mark
days when the tired runs so deep
no amount of sleep can beat it,
and i feel defeated
angry that this i must suffer
seeking protection,
a thing that might buffer
day after day, pour myself out
while mending, on the rebound
need a minute to catch my breath
i am drowning, 
and now i am sounding
a whole lotta crazy
in truth longing to fly free,
leave the tired behind
tell myself, it’s only a matter of time
lock away the light
catch my dream, hang on tight
it’s just within sight

Exhausted by Foo Fighters. Can it be the weekend, please? Work has been draining. I wish it weren’t so. I’m venting, but also jamming to the song below 🙂 The poem has been revised since I first posted. I think I was so tired when I initially wrote it, it didn’t flow the way I wanted it to. I’m done with the revisions now. And I’m also done with my work week. Woo fuckin’ hoo!

Photo by Leo_Visions on Unsplash

more than a flicker

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you and i are

more than a moment,

more than a flicker

in a world getting sicker and sicker

when one wonders if anyone cares

and life seems shitty, unfair

you, darling, are one in a million

in a sky filled with a billion

wicked stars in the sky

perpetually evolving, you and i

reaching high for our zenith,

a connection shared between us

on me you can always rely,

a trustful ally

holding up a light

when no longer you can fight

the hurt you hide inside

fall into me,

can i help you see that you are

more than just a moment,

more than just a flicker

i see in you all that glitters

Inspired by Linkin Park’s One More Light. Full lyrics here. After reading Fox Reviews Rock post on Friendly Fire, another song I love, I spent the day listening to Linkin Park. I’ve loved this band for a long time. It made me think, are we all not looking to be seen in this big, bad world? So, I wish for you the following:

May you feel seen and heard. May you be peaceful and happy. And may you be safe and free.

Photo by Muhammad Ali on Unsplash

at my edge

9 Replies

beyond the edge
of human emotion
time stands still,
like magic in moments frozen
lost in such luminosity
consumed by an insatiable curiosity
and wanting more
body, mind, soul and spirit
held in most brilliant of light
angels sing over me in quiet delight
whispering a chorus in my ear
you need not fear, all is well
forever and gladly under your spell
i get lost, leave behind this world
when life’s fury lets loose and unfurls
confusion, the illusion that 
i’m falling, falling and overwhelmed
I am held up by you,
and in your arms i breathe
knowing i am always seen
for where you are, nothing ever fails
the veil is lifted
breathe into me
for then i am surely free

Music will always be my first love ❤ It is the great unifier when we cannot come together around anything else. I have listened to this song a million and one times. It never grows old and is one of my all-time favorites. And Lindsey Buckingham is hot, LOL.

Photo by Julia Kadel on Unsplash

a holiday

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standing in the middle
things don’t seem so bad
perhaps eases an ounce of sad
do you ever feel like you don’t wanna deal,
stuck at the top of a ferris wheel?

wanna turn off this emotion
wanna mute the commotion
’cause i’m feelin’ kinda sick
need some ben and jerry’s quick

leaning into what you say
can barely hear with all the adversity at play
said you’d be a shoulder to lean on?
must tell you haven’t cried in an eon
sorry! didn’t mean to freak you out
it’s true, i very rarely pout!

well, that was a gas
i’m now done with this rant
wish i could stay, but most certainly can’t
gotta split, run and put out more fires
good heavens, no wonder
i’m nothing but tired!
made it to the end of the day
damn, i really need a holiday!

Holiday by Turnstile off their 2021 album, Glow On. Love this album. Cool bass and guitar, how they double up on the chorus and verses, but in the intro and post-chorus, the bass goes up a 4th. I love the drums, too. My favorite Ben and Jerry’s ice cream is Salted Caramel Brownie. What’s yours???

Photo by Nirmal Rajendharkumar on Unsplash

let them live

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untamed and free,
thousands living in the wild
hoofbeats resounding mile after mile
a thunderous rhythm
across wilderness and plains,
wind weaving through
fierce mane and tail
you only want what you deserve
to live freely, unharmed
among your sacred herd
yet threatened by inhumanity
savage humans cause you suffering,
mercilessly separated from your families
immoral men bring upon you calamity
where’s the compassion, justice
and humanity?
save the wild mustangs,
let them live
such brutality,
i cannot forgive

Last year, 20,370 American horses were shipped out of the country to be slaughtered. Most sent to slaughter are in good condition, according to a USDA study. They include an unknown number of mustangs that once roamed freely across our public lands. These horses endure terror, trauma, and pain in crowded trailers without food, water or rest. This will continue day after day, until Congress finally stops it. Urge Congress to support the SAFE Act to end horse slaughter – Return to Freedom Wild Horse Conservation

Take Action for Wild and Domestic Horses and Burros

Wild horses, mustangs, and burros suffer year after year because the Bureau of Land Management wants to control their population in the most brutal way. These animals are chased by helicopter for miles, separated from their families, rounded up and then sent on to be slaughtered. Horses, like humans, build strong familial bonds/friendships within their herds. Some are rescued at auctions by organizations like Return to Freedom, and Skydog Sanctuary; others are not so fortunate. Please urge your Congresspeople to support the SAFE Act.

Photo by Michael Anfang on Unsplash

anthem of the trees

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Mother Earth, you are not yet lost
your rivers, oceans, mountains, and trees
raise their voice in desperate plea
a call to all beings,
an anthem of freedom
that cannot be ignored
feel the pulse of the land
steady now as ever before
listen, listen to its command
to all peoples everywhere
bear witness to the hand
of careless humans
who’ve lost the way,
blinded by a lust for gain
what will they say when all is lost,
beauty, purity carelessly tossed?
we weep oceans in grief
our souls in grave disbelief
can’t you hear the trees sing?
songs of peace they mightily ring,
they will not be enslaved to those depraved
life is sacred,
we are connected,
raise the collective must we

Cantus Iteratus by Karl Jenkins from Adiemus-Songs of Sanctuary. Cantus iteratus in Latin means “repeated song.” I’m living in this album. If you read my last post, I’ve been lost in this music lately. It’s truly breathtaking. Thank you, Karl Jenkins, for this masterpiece. I was drawn to the steady pulse of the percussion and lower strings and the beautiful chorus of female voices in this piece. I thought it truly conveyed the spirit of the poem. It sounds like an anthem, march-like and jubilant, and it steadily grows and grows until the end when the music softly trails away, much like the beginning. So clever and enlightened, I think. Our earth is being destroyed, and it deeply saddens me. I wanted that to be present in the poem, but also hope that we can make changes collectively. I think the music brings that to life. The piece reminds me a little of Treebeard and the Ents in Lord of the Rings. I hope you give it a listen as you read this poem. I wrote it at work yesterday during breaks, lol! Oh, and full lyrics to the piece are here.

Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash

in perfect rhapsody

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for miles and miles
nothing but blue,
my glassy reflection
cast by the fair moon

let me swim your depths
befriend the whales,
ride the stoic waves
and set to sail

as though i had wings
spun of golden light,
and all in the world
seems more than alright

there’d be no more sorrow,
save delight,
warmed by a canopy
of falling stars, a scattered night

sing with me world,
sing of ocean’s majesty
united together
in perfect rhapsody

Hymn by Karl Jenkins, sung by a female chorus and from the album Adiemus-Songs of Sanctuary. The whole album is absolutely beautiful. I thought this piece caught the spirit of this poem. It takes you to a whole different world. Enjoy.

Photo by guille pozzi on Unsplash

the stars sigh

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there is a certain kind of peace i get
when i look up at the night sky
the stars sigh, yet never lie
on them i can depend
that though this world may fall apart
when feeling low, down in heart
their wonder and their mystery
keep me stirred and wistfully
i dream of things i wish to be
a restoration of humanity,
an end to the insanity
all beings are at peace
when I gaze upon a starry night
it feels like possibility
i rest and introspectively delight

Karl Jenkins: Palladio – 1. Allegretto. If you’re into strings, you’ll love this piece ❤ It’s beautiful. I don’t know why, but I think it has a fierceness to it that I love. 

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

away we’ll steal

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out the door, late again
got you on my mind,
virtue or sin?
your kiss still burning
on my lips
the feel of you
against my hips
feeling quite buzzed,
all because
got you in my system
god knows i should listen
to that small voice
droning in my head
proceed with caution, girl,
look ahead
but you’re so good,
so easy to be with
it’s friday night
we’re feelin’ kinda foolish
i’ll reach for you,
plant a kiss on your neck
we’ll stroll down Ocean
and watch the fiery sunset
let time stand still 
tell me this is real
and away we’ll steal
again and again

Live performance of Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex. I think it’s my favorite song by them. They’ll be on tour in LA in October performing at Kia Forum.

Spring has officially arrived! The first day of Spring was yesterday. The Spring Equinox occurred a day earlier than usual because it’s a Leap Year. Evenings have been so beautiful, and walking at the beach near Ocean Blvd is always a nice way to end the day ❤

Photo by Rachel Cook on Unsplash

chasing after the wind

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loving him is like chasing the wind
never certain the direction he’s heading
she gets caught in a flurry, worried
that just like the wind he’ll blow over
the thought of his embrace
she lives in for days,
and when the fair wind decides to turn
her love he leaves unabashedly to spurn
she will pretend that it didn’t mean more
silently grieving to the depths of her core

Photo by Marc Kleen on Unsplash

player

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if i told you my name
would it change
how you play the game
would you say i’m to blame
for being certifiably insane?
follow me downtown into the dark
shadows dancing,
pink lights entrancing
going out on a lark
down the avenue of right or wrong
pick your poison
give battle or belong
take the path of least resistance
when lights go dim,
you’ve been outdistanced
down the curious rabbit hole
hold onto yourself,
stay in control
down on your knees,
trying to please
are you brave enough
to break free?
go ahead, call me crazy
i’ll remain nameless
sensible, sane, hard, and blameless
end to end,
don’t wanna be judged
only enlightened
way done being frightened
hey i’m a player, too

In the spirit of The Hand That Feeds, by NIN. 

Photo by Victor Rodriguez on Unsplash

hit it

3 Replies

take a deep dive with me
into the madness
i promise,
won’t leave empty-handed
kick off your shoes, stay awhile
we’ll run barefoot,
take a day trip,
roamin’ freestyle
do cartwheels and hot wheels
and blissfully land in
adventures and play
with quite the abandon
wear our shiny crowns,
can you dig it?
blazin’ this lazy town
like we’re moonlit
are you along for the ride,
feeling committed?
follow me, babe,
let’s go,
and we’ll hit it

This is a short, nonsensical poem, just for the sheer fun of it. Fun to play with words, an adventure in and of itself.

Be Yourself, Audioslave – 2005 album, Out of Exile, debuted number one on Billboard. Be Yourself went to the top of the charts. Though the song is moody, I thought the name of it, Be Yourself, fit the spirit of this poem. I’ve taken a deep dive this weekend into Audioslave. Chris Cornell, I think, has one of the best male voices in the grunge movement. RIP.

Photo by Olivia Bauso on Unsplash

bad habit

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the first night we met
at that little cafe
i was shivering, cold
you offered your jacket

i remember your eyes
behind the dark rimmed glasses
you said i was pretty
drank it like a shot of whiskey
and that, oh that was the first mistake
had me twisting inside, a whole lotta dizzy

you looked so cool, so fucking attractive
was certain i’d need a strong antacid
cuz boys like you like girls like me
but in the end, it’s just misery

i’m drawn to you
like a goddamn magnet
but you’re not true,
wear me like your faded suede jacket
i’m afflicted, so addicted
what am i to do?
gotta quit you like a really bad habit

but oh, it’s too late
is this just fate?
i’m lost in you, down and out stranded

Someone asked me if my poems are about anybody in particular. Yes, and no. There may be a few things that are real, like an idea or detail that sparks something, and it goes from there. But mostly, it’s just poetry, like song lyrics that shine a spotlight on random stuff, heartache, love, and other lyrical nonsense 🙂

Photo by Krzysztof Hepner on Unsplash

sink into me

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when you feel your world is tumbling down
at water’s edge, about to drown
i’ll be near, will carry your fears
sink into me, love,
and all will be well

when you’re overwhelmed and tired of this living
fading fast, surely slipping
don’t you fret or ever regret
sink into me, love,
and all will be well

don’t you know i’d do anything
go crawling to the brink
catch the moon and stars
hold you in my arms
for a million years to come,
a million years to come

you never have to doubt
what i am about
take all of me you need
for you i’d truly bleed
sink into me, love,
and all will be well

Photo by Ananthu Ajayan on Unsplash

over you, or something like that

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thought i’d gotten over you

wiped the slate clean

then that fucking song came on

and i quite wanted to scream

it played out on all my emotions

words and thoughts left unspoken

and all the shades of dark returned

though i left it alone, undisturbed

don’t worry, as if you would,

i’m really quite well

no longer naive, under your spell

it’s just now and then, you come up again

when i hear that song,

fans the flame within

ironically, what a surprise

that you,

you brought me back to life

when light was scarce,

couldn’t see for miles

but before you get off, get too vain

and think this poem is about you

it’s more about me, the discovery

that i don’t need you or anyone else,

my heart is mine,

belongs to me

The Hardest Part by Bre Kennedy & Hadley Kennary

Photo by Christopher Campbell on Unsplash

merry go round

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tuesday flew by, now it’s wednesday
chasing tomorrow and the blues away
hoping to catch a hint of glimmer
‘stead of feeling low, mildly triggered

life is bemusing, a merry go round
spinning fast, am i losing ground?
just when i think it might slow down
it’s just a hoax, some sick joke
somebody wake me up, oh please
‘cuz man oh man, something’s broke

pick it up, girl, just meditate
change the course of this seeming fate
just short of chaos, 
what’s a few raindrops
raining down on your parade?

well, pardon me, m’am
if i’d rather be
sipping a drink by the sea
that’s right,
you guessed it
writing prose and poetry 🙂

No Place Like Home by Vacations. Music makes the daily grind much more bearable ❤ 

Photo by Unsplash in collaboration with Alexander Mills

gambit

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ruby red nails

and silver lipstick

she wears her platform heels

three inches high just for kicks

with each sway of her hips

studded chains round her wrists

you wonder what she’s made of

when push comes to shove

she holds her head high

when others walk by

feeling their stares and wandering eyes

she just tosses her head

and with a swoosh of her blue hair

smiles amusingly and meets every stare

knowing all that matters

is her own kind of sexy

the kind that’s humble

and when things get messy

she wears kindness

like her black leather jacket

her very best defense,

favorite gambit

Photo by pawel szvmanski on Unsplash

sail away

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this morning you greeted me with a kiss

twelve o’clock noon

and i reminisce

my faded t-shirt still smells of you

i’m hopeless, a romantic

don’t mean to be pedantic,

but i know every curve of your gorgeous face

this afternoon we sailed Marina Del Rey

though the skies began threatening gray

not a worry or care,

your hand brushed back my hair

as the wind whipped through the sails

this evening we strolled under a strawberry moon

warm seabreezes, jasmine’s sugared bloom

you said, “let’s swim,” with a playful grin

and into the waves we dove

Photo by Bobby Stevenson on Unsplash

dream a little dream

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catch you on

the next moonbeam

ride the constellations

away downstream

wallow in the deep

dream a little dream

as we dance among

the shimmering stars

towards neon light,

the night is ours!

Photo by David Becker on Unsplash

foolish roulette

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here am i

a breath and a sigh

away from you

you and i were going places

feeling safe, like homeostasis

then you left without a word

no promises did we make

yet to be erased,

left to wonder, was i replaced?

such a silly thing

to fall so hard for you

ignored the signs, this is what you do

lesson learned, no regrets

i’ll behave, still left to guess

you’ve moved on

lest i forget

get tangled up in love, a foolish roulette

Foo Fighters, “Stranger Things Have Happened”


Photo by Lenstravelier on Unsplash

velvet daydream

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tell me more about you

got me so curious

dressed head to toe in black

said your moon’s in aquarius

where do you come from,

where are you now?

stay a little while

let’s go another round

you’re not just anyone

you gotta past

life seemed to happen

too hard, too fast

let me be a shelter,

be your shooting star

fall apart on me

I’ll meet you where you are

you smile at me

and i see moonbeams

meet me at the corner

of this velvet daydream

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

ain’t no way

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left on an early weekend morn
despite the pity
and the scorn
the sun shone brightly
belied tears cried nightly
because of you
left a houseful of memories,
my dog, baby grand
no one could stop me,
what I had planned
weeks, months in the dark
alone in the crazy,
had i missed the mark?
running and faded
beyond jaded
part of me died
lucky i survived
free me, i will take my stand
free me, this i demand
to walk away, i knew i’d pay
for my sanity
embraced the gravity
to be free
no way in hell
can you stop me
free me, i will take my stand
free me, this i demand
beginning to end
on this i depend
that i will be free
ain’t no way
can you take it away 

“Free Me” by Foo Fighters. This song has been on repeat. I’ve been listening to their earlier stuff as well as their latest album. It takes time to live in each song, learn the lyrics, and feel the vibe. This is one of those songs that so clearly resonates. I’ve worked hard to earn free.

Photo by Gary Meulemans on Unsplash

keeps me sane

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didn’t think the day would ever end
soul weary, tired and spent
feeling distorted,
body contorted
pushed too far
pretty sure i missed my star
keep looking for my pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow
someone please let the light in
miss the warmth of your touch
on my skin
thoughts of seeing you again
the only thing that keeps me sane

Yesterday was a tough day. You know, the kind where you have to grind it out. I hate wishing for time to pass, but it’s been a long week. Halfway through. There just aren’t enough hours in the day for play.

Photo by Filipp Romanovski on Unsplash

let the music play on

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let the music play on
for therein is real magic
sweet melody,
like the air i breathe
life fades away
angels and devils at play
songs that save my soul
this brokenness indeed made whole
forever young, forever free
give me the beat of a drum
and i’ll soar for eternity

This song by the Foo Fighters, “Rest,” is like a lullaby of sorts. Although I’m not sure of the meaning, I feel that it’s a tribute to Foo Fighters’ beloved drummer, Taylor Hawkins, who died in 2022. I was so saddened by the news of his death believed to have been caused by a drug overdose and an enlarged heart, as I’m a huge Taylor Hawkins fan. There are some great rock n’ roll drummers, including Dave Grohl, but there is something about Hawkins that I loved. The way to my heart will always be through music ♡ Wish that I had more experience drumming!

Feature Photo Taylor Hawkins performing in 2018 CC BY 2.0. Credit: Raph PH

wade into you

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lost inside my head
too soon to forget
you’ve got me aching
helplessly craving
your lips on mine
like sweet, sweet summertime
riding the surf with you
what is it you do
that gets me so high?
can’t deny
the madness between us
you’re my latest weakness
but i don’t mind
cuz you make me feel so, so fine
wade into you every time

Would like to set this to music, a song?

Foo Fighters, “Show Me How,” featuring his daughter, Violet, on vocals. I love the vibe of this song. I get inspired by music to write..

Feature Photo by Unsplash in coordination with Natalia Blauth

take twelve

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hey girl,
what’s that you say
you’re tired of giving your heart away?

far too feckless
honey’d and reckless
on this cold, moonless night

said you’re looking for Mr Right
but took a wrong turn, yeah took to flight
fled the enemy
goddamn the dastardly

fooled you once, twice maybe
you’re a big girl now
shake it off baby
live another day,
don’t let it get away

trust that there’s more, more than this
more than just a lover’s kiss
love letters to myself
take a beat, or take twelve

’cause you are gold
can’t you see?
keep your heart open,
yeah, own your ‘free’

“Take Twelve” by jazz trumpeter, Lee Morgan, performed by the Lee Morgan Quintet

Photo by Seth Doyle on Unsplash

hey, thanks

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I hope you’re enjoying a restful, restorative weekend! I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you for visiting and taking time to read my poems, posts, etc. It truly means the world. It’s laughable, I never thought I’d ever write poetry. Okay, so it’s not great poetry, but the process is incredibly rewarding and even more so, healing.

I have loved writing since the time I could hold a pencil. Yes, I was that geek in school with the straight bangs and glasses who loved, yes loved, practicing cursive. The act of forming each letter was like art.

I started this blog in 2010 primarily upon the encouragement of a group of individuals I knew in high school, and a teacher who was very well liked by the students, Carole Ann Kaplan. We all created WordPress blogs and began posting stuff. Since then, so many other platforms to write and subscribe to have popped up. My posts began as a journey to find my birthfamily in Taiwan. I wrote a memoir about that journey. Things have changed tremendously since then, and the book would be much, much different now…I don’t write about adoption very often anymore, but elements of grief and loss, attachment, rejection, okay, yes, unrequited love, and longing that I’ve experienced as a result of adoption, I’m sure, influence my prose.

So, thank you, dear readers for following this blog, reading my silly poems, and sharing space with me. It’s really nice to read your posts as well, and I”m grateful for the support. Happy writing, and may you have a lovely rest of your day.

Photo by Wilhelm Gunkel on Unsplash

Enjoy this beautiful tune! A friend recently introduced me to Father John Misty, though he’s been around for awhile. I’ve had this song on repeat 🙂

replay

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where do i start?
you had my heart at beautiful
and now I’m falling,
falling for you

till the sky dusks purple, eventide
thoughts of you
day for night

feel your breath
let’s make for the moon
under the stars,
so brightly strewn

i’m into you
like wind to waves
sweet memories of you replay

Photo by Storiès on Unsplash

undertow

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you are a spring tide
at the new moon
you pull me in,
pull me under
can we stay like this together?
lost in the undertow,
i’d gladly drown in the afterglow
over and over
to be with you
sun, moon, and earth align
careless whispers,
you are mine

Photo by Matthew Hume on Unsplash

Happy Saturday! It has been one of those weeks, the kind that you can’t wait to be over. Busy and exhausting. I’m so glad it’s the weekend. Time to rest and restore. And write mindless poems. The song below by Goth Babe partly inspired this one, despite the surfing on the snow in the video, lol.

Cheers, thank you for visiting, and may you enjoy your weekend!

no matter

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let me wrap myself in you
so deeply that
i feel your thoughts
and
breathe you in
so deeply that
i know your rhythm
and
move with you so deeply
that the breath in me
is the breath in you
and
the light in me
is the light in you
let me see to your soul
and
all that you are
may you see into mine,
all that i am
and love me no matter

Photo by Ahmet Sali on Unsplash

this i swear

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you want me to be

you want me to feel

you want me to see,

want me to agree

when all i want,

all i want

is to be fucking free

from you, even me

take the next exit and flee

from all that’s oppressing me

take your wants,

take your desires

may they drown with you

in your lies,

all the mire

better off without you

don’t need a rescue

no longer a mask i wear

you cannot touch me,

this i swear

dissident

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staring at the same mossy-green wall,

my office space

what dreams i chase as i sit and meditate

on the long day before me,

all the people to see

how i’d rather be free,

dissident of the mundane

a bit like Ozzy’s Crazy Train

longing for the atmospheric,

yes, the esoteric

music with all the feels

rhythm that gives me chills

seeking that little spark

oh, oh, oh

must i embark

on the path laid before me,

stealing moments in between

to write silly poetry?

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

dance between the shadows

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dance, dance
dance at dawn
headphones on
no regrets 

dance, dance
in the dark 
between the shadows
and the stars

dance, dance
like there’s
no tomorrow
like no one’s watching
to hell with sorrow

dance, dance 
you
out of my heart
out of my head
too soon to depart

dance, dance
be free, 
be wild
remember your touch,
always your smile

I’m digging this new tune by Rob Grant, Lana Del Rey, and ANNA…Takes my breath away.

I think dance is one of the most beautiful of art forms. I find myself dancing, headphones on and music blaring, with abandon all the time. 

Cheers to slow dancing and getting lost between the shadows. 

Photo by Olenka Kotyk on Unsplash

on a friday

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on a friday
i realize i haven’t
seen you
in a week

on a friday 
i imagine your face,
kissing your cheek

thoughts of you
ever present
no matter how
desperately i circumvent

i’m enraptured,
utterly enamored
of you

So, it’s not actually Friday, but this poem has been sitting in the wings for a while now. From my little quiet corner of the world, Happy Lunar New Year!

Photo by Lerone Pieters on Unsplash